You outshine the morning sun (my son)
by Mrs.Mcshizzlesupreme
Summary: Eliza and Alexander always wanted a big family but what happens when they find out they can't have children? Modern AU! Rated T just to be safe. (Image is not mine)
1. Chapter 1

**A/N So I know I should be updating my other Fanfic but I have like 300 ideas for Hamilton fanfiction so that's what I'm doing. So Eliza and Hamilton got married two years ago in the first chapter. Also, I have little to no medical experience or knowledge whatsoever so please excuse any mistakes but I won't get very in depth so I don't mess it up. Also for this story, Alexander got adopted by the Washington's when he was 14 and his mother died when he was 5. It will mainly be Alex POV because I can't write Eliza's that well for some reason.**

 **Fertility issues mentioned and abuse but abuse is very slight still don't read if triggered. It's also not needed to understand the rest of the story it's just background and mindless fluff but so will the other chapters.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Hamilton though wouldn't that be so cool! I would have so much talent! But alas I do not that's Lin.**

 **Eliza: 23**

 **Alexander: 25**

 **Eliza's POV**

I'm sitting on my bed crying. A few minutes ago I got the phone call saying I wasn't going able to have a baby and my health was too weak to start putting more hormones and drugs into it so I wasn't going to be able to ever have my own child. Let me explain the health issues well I lived in a very polluted area of New York and my parents couldn't leave because of work. Then I met Alex and we got married and moved to the countryside of New York. That's when the doctors noticed just how bad my health was. I would get headaches and morning sickness almost every day. It was the sudden change and though that doesn't happen anymore I have to be very careful and drugs and hormones could start that up again. Now I'm crying I can't ever have children. I always wanted to have a big family and I know Alex did too but now- now we can't. Will I be enough for Alex? Am I good enough for Alex? My sister showed interest in him when we first met though she doesn't know I know that but I can tell she likes him more of a brother now. Still, I can't help wondering if she would have been a better choice for Alex. She is strong, kind, generous and – and everything he deserves, everything I'm… not. If he married her they would be happy and have a big family and he – I don't deserve him. I once asked him if I could be enough for him and he said I was enough I was more than _he_ deserved but that isn't true. How can it be true? Angelica is so much more everything! She is smarter, more talented, kinder, stronger she is amazing and one of a kind I'm just Eliza. Plain old Eliza I guess I'm a little smart, have some talent, and a little strong but Angelica is way more. I suddenly feel really sick and I run to the bathroom. I'm in the bathroom crying and vomiting my guts out and hoping when Alexander gets home from work I'm collected and look strong and not this mess of a person that I am.

\- 1 hour before the call-

 **Alex's POV**

I'm fidgeting in my seat waiting for my boss/foster father to call me into his office. I was a little out of it during work today because Eliza and I are expecting a call to from the fertility ward to see if she can have children without help and if not to see if she is healthy enough to be put on the drugs. I work as a lawyer in the city so an hour commute and I was nervous thinking what if I get home and Eliza is sick or if she got the call and had been feeling bad but I couldn't help her because my work is too far anyway I didn't notice George was asking me a question until he was kneeling in front of me and calling my name for what was probably the hundredth time. After the meeting, he asked that I meet him in his office later and I know I'm in trouble. Finally, after what seems like hours but was only fifteen minutes a lady walks out of the office and I'm called in. I walk inside head down and playing with my hands nervously. I look up George motions me to sit in the chair in front of him. Immediately sitting down my heads back down and I'm bouncing my leg.

"Sir, I'm so sorry for not being very present today. I promise it won't happen again! If there is any work that I missed or didn't do for being distracted I will stay later to finish it, I promise-"

"Alex, look at me son." I slowly raise my head expecting to see him mad but all I see is concern

"First of all what did I say about calling me sir behind closed doors. I know in front of your colleagues you do it so that they don't think me hiring you was being biased but behind closed doors what did I say?"

"Not to. Sorry, George" I say my gaze going back to my lap.

"Alex head up, son." I do as I'm told and again instead of faced with a stern glare I am faced with a concerned gaze. "Second I'm not angry at you for being distracted today just worried at to what is troubling you. I know you and you are not one to be this distracted unless it's something very big. So if I may ask what's wrong?"

"Well, um it's really nothing important. You should not be worried it is nothing I assure you." George gets up and I instinctively flinch. Are you kidding Alexander it's been eleven years since anyone has hurt you! Stop flinching. Though it doesn't happen as often when I'm really nervous or stressed I still flinch with those kinds of things. Unfortunately, the flinch doesn't go unnoticed by George and he somehow, without me telling him, knows that now if I flinch something is wrong or I actually did do something wrong and I'm lying about not doing it. George walks slowly over to me and kneels down another thing that he has learned over eleven years. When I'm distressed don't stand over me if makes it worse but I don't need him babying me I'm a grown man he shouldn't have to be careful and treat me as if I were a child.

"Alex, you're ok. I'm not and will ever hurt you. You're not with those other people. Now let's go to the couch so this feels less formal ok?" He says this in a low voice and again I'm not a child that needs comforting.

"George, I'm not a child! I can handle myself perfectly fine! I don't think there is any more we need to discuss so I should get back to work!" It came out ruder and harsher than I wanted it to. He was just trying to help me but still. He raises his brow and fixes me with a stern gaze "Alexander watch your tone. Now I'm a perfectly aware that you are not a child and I was not treating you as such. I was and still, am merely concerned for your wellbeing. Now head to the couch so we can finish this meeting alright?" His tone is still caring but there is also a stern tone in it. "George I'm sorry for the way I said that but really I'm fine it's nothing that will interpret my work I promise." George lets out a sigh "Why can't you understand that right now I don't care about work but you!" My eyes widen in fear. He had never raised his voice at me. Yes, even as a teen neither him or Martha had ever raised their voice towards me. "I'm so- sorry sir. I'll stop talking. I uh I'm really sorry-" I once again get cutoff by George putting his hand on my knee. I flinch once more and look down. A gentle but firm hand grabs my chin and gently turns it so I'm forced to look at George. My face must show just how scared I am about not just right now but other things because George's face turns even more guilty. "Alexander I am so sorry for raising my voice. I was not mad at you I had a very stressful day and I'm very concerned as to what is troubling you, son. Please forgive _me_ for yelling" I nod

"It's fine. I understand"

"Thank you. Now can we please go finish this conversation on the couch?" I know by this point I should say yes but I don't want to cause more harm then I already did to the man who so generously took me in and didn't give me back. I shake my head and try one last time "No, really I should head back to work I don't want to get home too late" George sighs and he turns stern again "Alexander Hamilton the couch _now_ " His words are hard and leave no room for argument so I quickly and obediently go over to the couch and sit down. "Thank you," George says as he makes his way over to me. He sits down and faces me.

"Now Alexander, talk. What's wrong? Also, don't you dare say nothing one more time" I don't think about the fact that I'm an adult now and he can't punish me. In my distracted head I'm a teen again who got into another fight with Jefferson and now George is asking me what Jefferson did this time to make me punch him, again. If I don't tell him, I'll be in a lot of trouble for fighting… again. So I break down like always and tell him everything about Eliza and the call about both of us wanting a big family everything. When I finished talking George reaches over and wipes a tear that I had noticed had even fallen until now. "I'm sorry I didn't want to worry you, dad. I also know I'm overreacting" George smiles and I know he knows I'm finally less worried because I'm calling him dad and not George, I always used to him dad when I had just shared or needed to tell him something or after a scolding hardly ever but sometimes even during a scolding. It was the same for Martha, I would call her mom during those times. He places a gentle hand on my knee and says "Now son, you must never worry about making me more worried or mad when telling me something. It will be the exact opposite really and of course, you're not overacting son, this is very important for you and Eliza and you being worried is completely normal and understandable" He pulls me in for a hug and I start sobbing into his shoulder as he rubs soothe circles into my back. When I finally come down a little I let out a muffled "Thank you" George hears me and places a soft kiss on my head then pulls away "What for, Alex?" I think on how to respond "For everything. For taking me in when nobody would, for never hurting me, for not giving me back even though I know that thought must have at least crossed your mind once because I know I'm not and wasn't an easy person to deal with so Thank you." George frowns and looks me in the eye "We never once thought of taking you back from the moment you walked into our doors we knew we would never send you back. From the moment you walked into our house you were stuck whether you liked it or not" I laugh at the last sentence and hug him once more

"Still thank you"

"Of course. Now I know you're not supposed to be out of work for another hour or so but I'm ending your work day shorter today so you can head home. Besides what's the point of staying if you're not going to get any work down anyway worrying about Eliza?"

"George, I promise I will do my work. I'm sorry if my previous action caused you to believe otherwise"

"I wasn't reprimanding you, Alex. I was merely stating what I know to be true you love Eliza too much to be able to work when she could be getting the best or worst call that she could ever get. I'm not mad, son"

"Sorry" I rub the back of my neck sheepishly. "Quite alright but you better head home Alex and take tomorrow off" I open my mouth to respond but he cuts me off "Not open for discussion, young man" I sigh and nod. As I'm standing up I say

"Bye, Dad. Love you"

"Love you too. Don't feel like you need to tell me immediately the outcome, in fact, you are not permitted to tell me the outcome until tomorrow. That does not mean midnight" I laugh at that and have a quick look in the mirror relieved to see that I don't look like I just cried. I say one last goodbye to George and run out thankful that I can go home now.

-15 mins after the call-

I arrive at home finally and pull the car up in the driveway of the house. It's a two-story the kitchen and living room on the first floor and two bedrooms upstairs. The "master bedroom" is ours and the other is my office. Why I say "master bedroom" is because it would be the same size of the other if it didn't have a bathroom. The other bathroom is also upstairs. We have a good space between us and the neighbors were they can't hear every single word we say and us the same but close enough that we don't feel isolated. I open the door to our house and take off my suit jacket I walk over to the kitchen and put my suit jacket on the chair. Then I hook the keys onto the key holder and make my way upstairs. I open the door to our bedrooms and run to the sound of my wife throwing up. I open the bathroom door and find her hair down, a tear stained face, in sweats, and she is violently trying to wipe away the tears the keep falling she looks at me confused and I don't give her an answer. I run out and grab her a hair tie. I run back into the bathroom to her throwing up again. I run over to her and pull her hair into a messy bun. Then rub her back as she throws up for what seems like may have been the 5th time. Seeing her like this makes my heart break. She finally stops when her stomach has nothing give and she cleans her mouth before letting me bring her in for an embrace.

 **Eliza's POV**

What is he doing here? He should still be at work not here hugging me. Oh no, he shouldn't be here seeing me like this. I start to cry even more. Why can't I be like Angelica? Angelica probably wouldn't be here crying and throwing her guts out she would be composed sad, but strong and talk to him! Ugh why can't I be stronger – My thoughts are cut off by Alex saying "You got the call? It wasn't what we wanted?" He says it like a question but I know he knows the answer still I nod. Looking down I can't do anything right, not even this! He presses a kiss to me head and says "We'll figure it out. I would love to have kids but being here with you is enough well more than enough. How can I explain this, it's more than enough yes but it's not just more than enough there are no words to describe it? I mean what do you call it when you found your true love and she loves you back and she is more than you could ever wish for or deserve? My darling Betsey we will be fine and I love you so much. Yes, I love you more than Angelica and I could never marry her she is a sister and nothing more" He says the last sentence in a whisper. How does do that? Read my thoughts and then know exactly what to say? "Alex, I don't deserve you. This what you just did being able to read my thoughts is amazing and I can't do that. All I want is to be able to grant _you_ peace of mind that would be enough but I can't. Don't try to lie I can't" My voice sounds hoarse and my mouth is dry from throwing up but I need to say that. I look at him and see tears in his eyes, he blinks them back and pushes a stray hair out of my voice "Sweetie, you can't-" his voice crack. "You can't believe that. You are everything I ever wanted and more. Baby, I hate to see you like" His voice cracks again and this time a few tears fall "Like this and thinking these things. I love you more than life itself, I promise you" I reach up and brush a tear away

"Look, Alex! I just made you cry! Made you cry for my own dumb reasons! How can that be good?"

"I just love you so much and I don't want you doubting that, Elizabeth! How can you not see that?!"

"You're yelling, Alexander! I made you mad and sad! Of course never happy, that's Angelica!"

"Elizabeth, you do make me happy every single day! Please stop comparing yourself to Angelica! You're not her you're you and you are kind, strong, beautiful, smart, talented and amazing just amazing. I love you and you only, please understand that, sweetheart." His tone softened at the end again and I started crying. I hugged him tightly saying I'm sorry over and over again. After we finish hugging (I would have kissed him but I just threw up so no) he says "Alright darling. Why don't you change into pj's and brush your teeth? I'll get you some tea for your throat and then I'll braid your hair so if you need to throw up again it stays out of the way" He gets up, then helps me up and kisses my forehead lightly. What did I do deserve him? I love this man so much. Boy, he's got me helpless and then I look into his eyes and the sky's the limit. I love him and when I'm with him the world seems to burn and it's just us two.

"Don't you need to change into something confrontable?"

"I should. Ok then take a shower and I'll change ok?"

"Ok." I then head to take a shower.

 **Alex's POV  
** I change into my pj's which is just a white shirt and pajama pants the head downstairs to make Eliza tea all the while thinking. Did I really make her feel like she wasn't enough? Like all she ever did to me was make me mad or sad? No, she's just heartbroken that we can't have kids as am I, I couldn't possibly do anything to make her think that! Right? I'm boiling the water and get so lost in my thoughts that I don't notice its boiling until Eliza say so.

"Hey, greetings from earth, Alex. You still hear? I know I like my tea hot but I like it with water not steam please" I laugh and mumble a sorry and go to turn off the stove. I finish making the tea and hand Eliza her cup then we go to the couch and sit down. Gosh, she is beautiful! We drink our tea in a peaceful quite then she finishes hers and sets it down on the coffee table I do the same. She turns around already knowing the routine and I do the same then begin brushing her beautiful hair.

"Baby, what are we going to do?" She breaks the silence

"I don't know how about I call my parents and see if they can come over for dinner. George should uh what time is it?" **(A/N Showtime! Like I said- Showtime Yo I'm John Laurens in the place to be… Sorry I had to)**

"6:00"

"Ok, so he should be out of work in an hour. If you want, of course."

"No, that would be perfect! Thank you! Also, why are you here so early? I love it but why?"

"Oh yeah. I may or may not have been distracted worrying about you and the call that, during a meeting, George had to get up and shake me while calling me to get me out of my thoughts. He asked me to his office. The good thing was he wasn't mad so after a little talk with him about what was going on he told me to go home and I have tomorrow off also."

"Let me guess this _"little talk"_ was him half the time scolding you for not telling him anything?"

"Yes?"

"Of course" She responds rolling her eyes then she turns around her braid done and presses her lips to mine. I kiss back my hands on her back her arms around my neck and we stay there only separating to breathe for a good five minutes until we separated.

"I'll go call them. Stay in your Pj's I will too my parents won't mind" She nods

"Ok I'm going to go get my bag it has all the student's homework that lucky me gets to grade," She says this while walking upstairs "Sorry" I call up and she smiles in return. I get my phone from the coffee table and call Martha first. It rings three times before someone picks up.

"Hello, Alex. What do you need sweetheart?"

"Martha, can't I call just to see how you're doing?"

"So what do you need?"

"Do you and George want to come over for dinner?"

"So it's a question for us that you would rather talk about in person. We'll be there as soon as George comes back from work, baby."

"Great I'll call him and tell him! Also yes it is. Love you, mom."

"Love you too, baby. Stay strong whatever it is you will get through it!"

"How do you know?" I say this quietly knowing any louder the tears will come.

"Know what, love? That it's something hard you're going through or that you'll get through it?"

"Both," I say again barely above a whisper

"They have the same answer because I know you, Alex and I know Eliza you _will_ get through this"

"Thanks, mom. Bye"

"Bye, love" I hang up misty-eyed. How will we ever get through this? I then call George.

"Alexander? I told you not to call until tomorrow. Didn't I? I don't care-"

"Dad" I winced at how broken my voice sounded how near to tears it sounded. He just said he didn't care. I thought he did?

"Oh, Alex! I am so sorry, kiddo! I was going to say I don't care how excited you are. I had no idea, son. Please don't cry I'll be there in an hour hopefully less"

"Dad, you can't be here that early you're not out of work for another hour-"

"I'm leaving John Adams in charge heading home. I'm going guess you told Martha?"

"Yes, I told her. Also Adams! Is he even there today? Oh, who cares you might as well leave a monkey in charge! Adams-"

"Now, Alex as much as I wish I could say something like don't talk about him that way you know I can't. He is not very competent for being in charge but what can I do. Aaron and Madison will be there plus it will only be an hour, son but I'm not waiting any longer."

"Dad, you're already walking out the door aren't you?"

"No…"

"Ok dad, see you soon," I say laughing and shaking my head

"See you soon, love" I hang up and head to my office which is more like our office since Eliza grades 9th graders homework in there. I walk in to see her in auto pilot mode. Her answer sheet in one hand the red pen in the other, the homework on the table. Look, check, flip she does this on and on.

"Hey, Betsey"

"Hi, Alex," She says distantly. Is this how I'm like when I'm working on a case? Probably.

"I called my parents they should be here in an hour or more if George gets a speeding ticket, or crashes into someone when they won't go faster." At this, she raises her head and laughs. Then turns her rolling chair towards me. She is wearing her big nerd glasses and she looks gorgeous as always.

"George knows?"

"Yeah, but Martha doesn't. George already knew what was going on because of earlier so he guessed it. Sorry"

"No, no I wasn't mad just wondering, sweetie. I'll go make dinner then"

"Love you!" I say calling out the door

"Love you too!" She says.

I was setting the table when I hear a knock on the door.

"I'll get it, Darling," I say to Eliza. I walk over to the door and opened it to be embraced by Martha.

"Oh, my baby. George didn't tell me what's happening I just know it's really hard because of how stressed he was"

"Thank you, Martha"

"Now where is Eliza?"

"Kitchen." She nods and goes over to the kitchen but not before giving me one last hug. George walks in and hugs me as well

"How are you and Eliza holding?"

"Fine" I lie. He sees right through it. "Uh huh? The truth please." I avoid his gaze "It is the truth" he shakes his head and reaches out to move my chin "Now tell me you aren't lying" I'm forced to look at his eyes "It's… the… it not the truth. We are going on with our lives as if we haven't gotten the call not mentioning it once. We can't deal with it and it's our silent agreement not to mention it until you come" He lets go and I drop my gaze. I know I'm an adult I shouldn't be treated like this; he can't- I should make my own choices. In truth I didn't mind it, I may or may not like it. The thing is no one I ever knew cared for me like he did except… my mother. When I met him, I met Laff, Herc, Laurens, Angelica, Peggy and best of all Eliza. My life changed completely and for the better when I met them. I only got six years with them since for two years in college I lived with them. I like to remember that these people loved and love me, and were the last foster family ever. Apparently, I've been looking at the floor for a very long time because George places a hand on my shoulder.

"Hey, kiddo you ok?"

"Huh? Oh yeah sorry just lost in thought"

"Alright, let's go see if Eliza needs help, huh?"

"Yeah, ok" We walk over to see Martha and Eliza laughing. Eliza is laughing a real laugh, not those other ones we forced ourselves to believe were true. I smile looking at her with a loving smile and my lips.

"You really love her don't you?"

"Yeah, I do" He pushes me forward and I stumble before wrapping my arms around her waist and giving her a quick peck on the cheek. She looks up smiling an identical smile and presses her lips to mine. I support most of her weight and kiss back and for the moment everything is gone it's just us two. Of course, my amazing foster mother ruins the moment.

"Aww, you guys are so cute! I told you, they would get together from the day they met and Alex couldn't shut up about her! George why aren't we like that anymore look at them! They are adorable and in love!" We separate with Eliza snickering as I go red and groan.

"Mom!"

"It's my job now you two sit down and George and I will serve you." Eliza being Eliza opened her mouth to protest but Martha beat her to it.

"No, nothing you can say will change my mind" Eliza huffs and we sit down at the table.

-After Dinner-

We are in the living room and we just finished telling them the story. Eliza and I are sitting together hands grasped Martha is by my other side and George is by Eliza's side. They are hugging us as we cry, hands still grasped as if letting go will kill us. When we finally calm down, Martha wipes the tears from my eyes and George does it for Eliza. George and Martha kiss us both on the side of our heads then move so we're facing them. I pull in Eliza closer to me. I press a firm kiss one her wet cheek. She looks at me and smiles a grateful smile before getting close and resting her head on my shoulders. I look at and wrap an arm around her then turn to my parents. George is smiling proudly and Martha looks like she is trying not to squeal. George is first to break the silence.

"So, do you guys have any idea what you want to do?" I shake my head.

"All we know is that we really wanted children" Martha then smiles widely and say quite loudly "YOU COULD ADOPT! I don't know why that didn't occur to me sooner. Yeah, they tend to be difficult but-" I cut her off "We could! Also who cares about difficult, I was too. I know what's it's like to be in the system and it's not good. We can seriously help this kid. What do you think Eliza?" She thinks for a bit then smiles widely "I would love too! I mean we would need a bigger house, right? I think there is this one house around half an hour away from here, closer to the city that is up for sale. It's still close enough to my school that it shouldn't be a problem! That house has two bathrooms, four bedrooms, and has an amazing backyard and front yard. Its big but not too big where it feels empty. Oh, Alex, you'll love it especially since its closer to the city. It looks more like a really nice city and it's louder. I know you don't like the quite very much and-" I cut her off "Wow, wow Betsey! You really got it planned out, but we first need to apply for the foster care so they can know that we are willing to adopt. The house will come later." She frowns and says "No, we need to put in the application that we have enough space and right now we don't plus I don't want my child to grow up in a place where there are barely any children." I smile always prepared. "Alright, dad can you help me with the application and mom can you and Eliza go see the house tomorrow?" They nod and we get to work.

 **A/N Dang that was long. So I hope you like this. I know nothing about the foster program or anything so let's just pretend I know about that. The fertility things though I do know about, I know a person who is in it so that is the only reason that is accurate. If you like this story, please turn on chapter notifications since I really don't have a schedule but I'm not one to abandon stories so this will be finished don't worry. Please my it one of your favorites it would really mean a lot! Thank you, guys!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N Hey so yeah I'm updating this again instead of the other one that chapter will be up when I get inspiration. I am truly sorry I just can't seem to write that one but no worries it will be finished but I'm taking a break from it. So the timeline sometimes will skip ahead so in the Authors Notes I will put when it is. Also, Martha Washington's character is in my mind Sally Jackson so just FYI if you see resemblances.**

 **Time: Four months later**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Hamilton**

 **WARNING: MENTIONS OF ABUSE**

 **Alex's POV**

It's been four months. Four months since we got the call, four months since we moved to a bigger house, four months since we entered our application for the foster care system. Then our lives have gone pretty much the same except any time our phone rings we answer it so quickly without even seeing the caller id. Everyday hoping to get the call and not daring risk missing it. I've been sending people in for me in meetings having people talk on my behalf on cases so I don't have to turn off my phone ever. Do you know how hard it is to be constantly waiting for one call that can change your entire life? That one call can change Eliza's and my life completely. It's exciting, nerve-wracking and terrifying all at the same time. I'll often find myself thinking "What _if I'm like my father? What if I make things worse for the child instead of better? I'm no George what if I snap or yell and the poor kid gets scared? Or worse what if he is scared of me?"_ These thoughts are very present. My father left me when I was only 6 a year after my mom died and when he was around he was never really around. Sure he was living with us but did he know me? No, he didn't I was just the kid who he and his girlfriend had accidently brought into the world. He didn't hate me but he didn't love me either or at least it seemed that way. I _do not_ want to be him at all. These are my thoughts driving home from work. I do everything normally. I kiss Eliza hello, go up to our room, change, Eliza and I work in the office Eliza leaving a little early to cook dinner, I go downstairs. We talk and eat. It's pretty casual talk until Eliza brings the subject that's been on my mind the whole time. The adoption. "So, I haven't gotten a call from them yet but maybe that's a good thing?" I frown "What do you mean, Darling?" She takes a breath and says

"Well, what if I'm not cut off to be a parent?" I sigh "My darling, Betsey you have nothing to worry about. You're a teacher and an amazing one. You are the sweetest, gentlest women I have ever met. You will be perfect."

"Just because I'm a teacher doesn't mean I can be a parent. Being a parent is so much more than being a teacher. Yes, I'm kind but I don't listen to their problems that's not my job and none of my students ever have come to me. They are supposed to go to the guidance consular, not me."

"You will be perfect."

"Alex, if anyone will be perfect it's you" I almost spit my food out. "Me? The guy who doesn't work with children has no experience with them, has never had younger siblings, mother… passed when he was 12 and father had left a year before? Also never had a fatherly figure until age fourteen will be a good father?" She reaches across the counter and grabs my hand "Is that what you think? Baby, you will be perfect." I look her in the eye and say "Really? What in the world would make you believe that?"

"Yes, really. Just you wait" Her smile so convinced makes me not want to disappoint her so I let it go. We haven't gotten the call yet. Eliza sensing that I really don't want to talk about this subject more changes it.

\- 10:30 pm-

Eliza convinced me to go to sleep instead of working on my very important case. I'm slipping into bed next to her when my phone buzzes from the nightstand. I shoot out of bed and immediately grab my phone answering like always without looking at the caller id.

"Hello?"

" _Hello yes is this Alexander Hamilton?"_

"Yes, who is this?"

" _Oh sorry yes this is Margarita Jones from the foster care"_

"Oh, yes hello Ms. Jones"

" _We are sorry to call you this late but you see we just got a new kid. His name is Philip Ramos and he is thirteen years old. He has just been taken out of his foster home due to it being unsafe. That was his thirteenth foster home. He has been in the system since he was eight. We really want to find him a nice home but we would like you to view his files first. Would you like to us to send files or would you prefer someone younger or with less time in the system?"_

"Can you hold please?"

" _Of course"_ I look over to the bed where Eliza is sitting more awake than ever I turn to her "So that was them. She said that he was just taken out of his previous foster home because it was unsafe which in their terms means _it was bad we just don't want to tell you how bad yet_." I finish telling about Philip and immediately without a second of hesitation and with 100 percent conviction she says "We want the files" I nod "read my mind" I go back to the phone and tell the Ms. Jones our answer. She says they'll send a person to take them to our house since its classified info. Sometime tomorrow she said to except the person. Luckily tomorrow is my day off so I'll be home since Eliza will be home late since it's her turn to host detention.

-The Next Day-

It's three o' clock and I'm on the couch working on reviewing a case to see if it should go through and be dealt with, which I got assigned to yesterday. Coincidently it is about a foster family abusing a child. The man claims not to have harmed the child but was merely defending him and his wife after the child got violent with them. Most of the bruises he claimed we there the first day he arrived. The social worker claims that she knows the child and he is not violent and did not have those bruises. Sound familiar? I get up to get water when there is a knock on the door. I walk over to open in it, ok more like sprint over to open it catch my breath then open it. "Hello is this the Hamilton residence?" the man says "Yes, sir this is it." He nods and pulls out a manila envelope. "Sir, may I see id?" I do so and then he says "this is Philip Ramos's files and contact information for his social worker. Please contact her with your final decision." I nod and he leaves. Well, the case is really done. I was just reviewing it again. I go to the couch and put my work in my briefcase then take out the papers from the envelope. There is one of a picture of a scrawny boy with several visible bruises and dirty clothing. There is one headshot I guess you could say and this was taken last week. Poor boy has purple bruises outlining his jaw, he has a cut on his lip, there is a mean cut on his left brow, and his curly hair is knotted and dirty. I set it down and pull out a list of his foster homes. Most of them he was removed because of abuse and drug use was found in the homes. One of them was removed at the parent's wish after the wife got pregnant. Oh, man this is kid has my past maybe even worse. I then look at his file that has basic information. His size is small for a kid his age but so was mine, he has PTSD, and frequent panic attacks. In the notes they say not to leave him alone for very long, a slight fear of darkness due to his cousin that he moved in with didn't want him and locked him in a dark basement for a while, also never raise your voice and be as gentle as possible with him. This kids file looks so much like mine it scares me. It says he likes reading (Greek and Roman myths and he has read the classics), music and drawing. I put the file down and stare at the picture. This kid needs us, it will be hard like having someone like me again but he needs us and I know Eliza will agree. Huh, so this is what George felt like when he saw my files. I put the files away and call George to tell him everything.

-Evening -

Eliza and I finished eating and then I showed her the files. I just finished reading them and showing them to her. I look at her and she has tears in her eyes. "Alex, he- he- no one should have to go through that. He- he nee-needs us. We can't let him go to another home he _needs us_." I get closer to her and hug her tightly "Baby, I was thinking the same thing" She smiles widely then runs to her bag and calls Ms. Jones.

-Philip's POV-

I just got to the foster care center with Ms. Jones a week ago. I mainly spend my day in my room with the scrap papers I can find. It's not much and I can only draw with a dull pencil and crayons but it's more than I have ever had. I write and draw and no one knows. There are so many kids here, young and old it's scary. Why would someone do that to a child? Just yesterday a five-year-old, boy and girl came in here crying with two adults that were obviously not their parents. The adult said that they couldn't handle them they were too much of a hassle then left. How could someone leave a child here alone? It's infuriating! Though I've kept my rule never talk unless necessary no matter how mad, how much I want to yell at those people I will only end up worse. It's late for most of the kids, the older ones have to go to sleep at ten and the younger ones have to go to sleep at eight. I look at the old clock next to me, it reads eleven pm. Yeah, I should be asleep but I'd rather write it's the only time I can do that with any interruptions. I'm under my thin cover with a flashlight next to me and writing away so into my work that I don't hear when Ms. Jones comes in until she pulls the cover off of me.

"Philip, what are you doing awake, honey?" Her tone is gentle but I know it's fake it always is. "Sorry Ma'am I wanted to write for just five more minutes and I see time got away from me." I say in a whisper "Alright well since you're awake I'll tell you earlier today we got a call from a Mr. and Mrs. Hamilton we had called them yesterday and then we sent your files over today they answered saying they would happily adopt you." She says all too happy and hopeful. How does she not understand these people either want to look good, need someone to let their anger out on, or need a servant? "Mr. Hamilton is a lawyer and Mrs. Hamilton is a teacher and they have a very nice house that they bought just so they can enough space to foster! You'll love it!" Ah, there it is they want to look good, probably need a servant and someone to get their anger out. It will help Mr. Hamilton on cases because they will see him as the nice man who fosters and Mrs. Hamilton will find a lot of teaching jobs and maybe get a raise for fostering. I want to say all this but instead I do what I always do I smile the brightest smile I can give and say very politely "Thank you so much. I can't wait to meet them. When will it be next week?" She smiles at my supposed enthusiasm which is all fake "No! Even better tomorrow" I have to try really hard to be polite and happy I barely manage it "Oh, great!" she smiles convinced then says "Well I let you sleep, bye darling" I smile then she leaves and my façade leaves. I let a few tears fall. I'm not sad I'm terrified. They are sending me tomorrow that's not enough time for my bruises to hurt less. They will still be fresh and when they show their hand it will be worse. I fall asleep quickly. I might as well get a good night's sleep before nightmare number fourteen happens.

-Midday -

It's sunny outside which seems like the world mocking me because today my new nightmare of a life begins. Only one person has never hit me but they gave me back when she got pregnant. We finally get there. It's a nice neighborhood their house is a two story house it is a grayish brick and looks pretty homey but I can't get fooled by that. I let Ms. Jones get out of the car and wait for her to be at the door before getting out and making my way towards the door. Mr. Hamilton opens the door before I get there and I freeze he isn't as buff as I imagined him but my imagination was extreme and he was buff. He could easily hurt me. I'm still frozen when Ms. Jones is about to introduce me when she notices me standing there.

"Philip, sweetheart come on, here is your new family!" Gosh, she is too perky

"Foster family" I mumble under my breath but she doesn't catch it Mr. Hamilton I can tell does but he just sighs with what seems to be kindness and understanding "Ms. Jones that is very kind of you to refer us as his family and as much as I would love to be that, he should decide and right now I think it's safe to say that he doesn't know yet" My gaze stays the same no surprise, nothing because my social worker is still here he'll pretend he cares but he doesn't. Ms. Jones just smiles and replies "Of course. Philip come here, sweetheart" I slowly make my way towards her. She places a hand on my shoulder a sign telling me to introduce myself "It's nice to meet you, Mr. Hamilton." I mumble. I don't mean to but it just comes out like that. I can tell I mumbled it because of the look Ms. Jones gives me but Mr. Hamilton seems to think nothing of it, again fake kindness. "Nice to meet you, son" I wince at the name and am surprised to see he does too. Why? I don't know but I keep my mouth shut. He speaks again "I'm starting to sound like my father! Nice to meet you, Philip" He says and I was sure my wince was small. "My wife is out buying groceries we didn't expect you so early. That's fine, though, come on in." I let Ms. Jones go in first and trail in behind her. Ms. Jones is going over a few things with Mr. Hamilton and I zone out only shaken out of it when I hear a door close. I look back and see a woman holding bags and keys in her hand come in. Mr. Hamilton excuses himself from the conversation and helps his wife with the groceries. Mrs. Hamilton comes out of the kitchen first. She walks over to us and sits in front of me "Hey, Philip. Nice to meet you" She seems really nice but again it has to be fake. I smile politely and answer "Nice to meet you, ma'am" Her husband then comes in and sits down next to her.

"So, Ms. Jones I'm going to guess you would like to see his room?"

"Yes, thank you."

"Philip, would you like to see your room?" I nod and Mr. Hamilton stands up and I immediately do too. In my other houses whenever my _parents_ would stand up I had to, to immediately or else. The others stand up slower and I follow them to my room. My room is upstairs and when Mr. Hamilton opens the door and I stand there for the first time showing real emotion since I got there. The room has a bay window bringing in plenty of light with gray and blue pillows on the seat, there is a desk with a laptop on it and pencils and paper stacked. There is a bookshelf with a variety of books. The bed is a mixture of blue and green. The wall well they're white but with a colored line running through the whole room. In all its super cool. I don't even notice when Mrs. Hamilton takes Ms. Jones out. I'm standing there shocked, I get out of my state when I hear a laugh. I see it comes from Mr. Hamilton and immediately straighten up, close my mouth and put up an emotionless expression. "Hey kiddo, I'm going to guess you like it?" I gulp and politely showing as little emotion as possible and say "Yessir, I appreciate it very much" he winces and says "Good, wanna a tour of the house?" This is it, I really don't have an option if I say no he'll call me ungrateful and that's when he'll show his hand "If you would like to, sir. I wouldn't want to impose" He moves towards me and says "Alright why don't we go downstairs?" It sounds like a question but I know better, I said something wrong he's going to punish me. My back tightens and I say "Of course, Mr. Hamilton" He opens his mouth to say something but must think better of it because he just motions for me to follow him downstairs. I do as I'm told hoping it will make it quick. As we walk downstairs I'm fidgeting, and sadly Mr. Hamilton notices he stops walking and turns to me, I stiffen and brace myself. "Philip, you're not in trouble. You did nothing wrong, I just want to give you something" He says this gently trying not to scare me. No one has ever done this for me, they always laughed at my sacredness or hit/yelled at me. I walk still a little nervous and Mrs. Hamilton comes over to me.

"Hey, Philip. Did you like your room?" She asks this with what seems to be genuine interest but I know better than that. I give a polite smile and respond "Yes ma'am" her smile drops for a moment but it comes right back that I think I may have imagined it. "Great! So we hear you like drawing? So we got you something which is what Alex is looking for. Also please call me Eliza, not Mrs. Hamilton." I nod and Mr. Hamilton comes out from what I'm going to guess was the kitchen holding a box in one hand. He wraps his free arm around Eliza and then turns to me "And call me Alex. Here we got this for you" He hands me the box and I open it. Inside is a sketch book with a designable cover and a box of colored pencils, pencils and a sharpener lastly a phone. I look up my face full of shock "What- why? I- I mean uh thank you but. Not but uh sorry it's just. Never mind um. Please excuse my stumbling. Just Thank you" I'm yelling at myself to stop talking and Alex places a hand on my shoulder, I flinch away then once again open my mouth to speak. "Sorry," I say not wanting to meet their gaze I look at my shoes with a small blush on my face. Eliza speaks "Sweetheart, it's fine. We're not mad at all. I'm going to guess that your other home's didn't really give you things?" I shake my head still looking at my feet. Alex speaks up "Kiddo, we will never ever raise a hand to you. I know you probably don't believe me right now and that's ok. You have every right not to considering what you went through. I just want you to know that we will never ever raise our voice or our hand to you and hope that someday you'll believe that." I still don't look up but this time I have tears in my eyes but I can't let them fall. They can't actually mean that just wait. I'm not letting my guard down. "May I be excused, please?" hating the way my voice cracks and sounds so quiet and broken, the Hamilton's are nice enough to ignore it. "Of course, sweetie," Eliza says. I say a quick thank you before rushing to my temporary room, temporary because there is no way they will actually keep me. I put my phone on the table and sit on the bed with the art supplies. I draw and draw all my feelings which make pretty dark and sad drawings. I'm disrupted from my current drawing when I hear a soft knock on my door. I close my book and walk over to open the door. Eliza is there and says "Can I come in?" I nod and let her in. "Ok, so two things one, the clothing in your closet is not that much so when your bruises heal at least a little we can go get some more. Second, dinner is ready would you like to go downstairs or eat here?" See this question is where they get me, I don't really have an option. If I say here, they'll think I'm being too quiet and closed off but if I say downstairs they'll see me as greedy so I reply. "I'm fine with whatever you would like me to do, ma'am" she frowns and says "Honey, I don't mind, I want you to do what you feel most comfortable doing." Oh no, they have never done that what do I respond? Just tell me what you want I plead in my mind. Just tell me the rules already, please. Instead I go with what most foster parents usually want "I'm fine with going downstairs, but if you prefer me staying in my room I'm fine with that" She seems unconvinced but nods and says "Ok then come on dinner is ready" I follow her downstairs internally applauding myself for that good save. Alex is setting the table and Eliza tells me to take a seat wherever I want. Not again, what do you want from me!? I sit down a chair away from Alex and Eliza to no seem distant but also not to seem needy. Eliza hands me a plate of spaghetti. "Would you like something to drink?" I shake my head not wanting to intrude more but Alex frowns and says "You're getting water, ok?" I'm shocked, no one has ever willing given me things and this is the second time the Hamilton's have done it. "Uh, thank you" I reply and he puts a glass of water next to me. They sit down and begin talking small talk since I'm there, Eliza talking about her day, Alex talking about his. I'm eating and its really good but all of the sudden the sauce hits one of the sores in my mouth. I wince in pain and swallow I get another piece and a piece of meatball hits the wrong area and I let out a small whimper. I hoped the Hamilton's wouldn't hear me but they did. I keep eating as if nothing's wrong but this time they see the wince. Alex is first to speak "Philip are you ok?" I wince once more and reply "Yes, sir" He raises an eyebrow but says nothing. The next time I wince he talks again

"Kiddo, I don't think you're ok."

"May I be excused?" He smiles and replies "Of course." I push my plate and get up. I'm on my way to the stairs when Alex calls my name. I stiffen, I'm going to get punished. "Philip, what's wrong?" I might as well tell him "Sores in my mouth," I say quietly. "I see. Ok, why don't you head up to your room and I'll meet you there in a minute" I nod and make my way upstairs and that's when I let myself panic. I did something wrong and now he's coming upstairs to punish me. I suddenly feel like I can't breathe, black spots blur my vision. I don't notice the tears falling or when Alex comes into my room. I'm sitting on my bed knees to my chest my arms wrapped around my knees. My breathing becomes, short and shallow. I faintly feel a hand on my back, rubbing up and down but I flinch away from it tears falling harder. I feel a hand on my cheek but I can't see anyone. I hear a voice and male voice saying. Ugh, I can't understand. I concentrate on the voice. It's saying "Ok breath, in and out concentrate on my voice, sweetheart. Breath" I close my eyes tight to try to see but here are still black spots. "In, out come on, baby. In and out in and out" I do as I'm told. "Good, kiddo. Now try counting. I know you know French. Ok, repeat after me un, deux, trois, quatre, cinque, six, sept, huit, neuf." I concentrate really hard trying to find my voice "un" when I finally find my voice it's raspy. My vision is clearing slightly and I see the faint figure of what I assume to be Alex. I notice he is holding my chin so I can see him and he is sitting in front of me. "Good, honey. Go on" I take a breath and go on "un, deux, trois, quatre, cinque, six, sept, huit, neuf" By six I can see Alex. He has a look or worry and knowing, no that can't be right? He begins speaking again "Philip darling, can you see me?" I nod and want to look down but Alex is holding my chin still. He lets go of my chin and sighs a sigh of relief before going and wiping a tear from my eye. I look down and am surprised to find the hand on my back again comforting me. Then I start sobbing, they are so nice to me and I messed it up they can't deal with this happening. Alex keeps rubbing my back as I cry when I finally stop I look at him and begin speaking. "Look I'm really sorry about whatever I did at dinner. I'm also really sorry for you having to deal with this and if you want to send me back I completely understand. Please don't feel you need to keep me now. Really I can fend for myself I've done it before, I am more the willing to do it again if it means not causing you any trouble" I expected him to be happy or maybe get mad but instead he just looks hurt. He still doesn't hug me, which I'm grateful for somehow he senses that if I get to much contact something bad could happen. He just meets my gaze and with a gentle firmness says "No, we are not giving you back. Not now not ever. As long as I have a say about it, we're not giving you away, ever. Is that clear to you?" I just look at him dumbfounded, how- but – I what? He begins talking again and says "Is that clear to you?" a little firmer than last time, I want to nod truly I do but when I move my head to nod I shake it instead. Great now he's going to see you as disrespectful. He sighs and I brace myself for a swat or him to yell at me "Kiddo, I'm sorry. I'm not going to force you to believe that after everything you've been through. I understand. Also so sorry for making you believe I was going to punish you after dinner, I was and am going to take care of those bruises because I doubt they were ever treated right. You're not in trouble, you were never in trouble. Don't think of yourself as a burden we want you here." I look up at him and say a quiet "Thank you" He smiles "Of course, kiddo. Now, why don't you go change into the pajamas we bought you, then come and lay down. I'll look at those bruises when you're more comfortable" I nod and hurry to get my clothing before running to the bathroom. The pajama is a simple long sleeve shirt and pajama pants but the fabric is really comfortable. I rush over to my room not wanting to make Alex wait that long. I get to my room and see Alex picking some things he must have dropped when he saw me.

"Sir, I can help if you want"

"Thank you but no, Philip. What I want you to do is get some rest. It's been a long day"

"But-"

"No, to bed," He says sternly pointing to the bed. I nod and rush over to my bed. Alex sets the tray onto the desk and pulls over a chair. "You didn't need to run, Philip." He says gently then instructs me to sit up.

"Ok, so where does its hurt? Also no lying please"

"It doesn't really hurt. I've had worse"

"No lying, kiddo. Trust me I can tell when you're lying"

"Ok, mouth, jawline, hip, wrist, shins, shoulders and back" I relent. He frowns "It was bad; the last house wasn't it?" I gulp but nod. There is no point in lying. "Ok, we'll do your mouth first." He wets a q- tip with something I don't know the name of. "This will help make sure it doesn't get infected. It might sting a little but I need you to keep your mouth open" I nod and open it wincing when my sores open up a little. He puts the stuff on the sores and I do my best to stay still. After what seems like hours but was no more than one minute he finishes "Good, ok now let's do the left side of your jaw. I need you to turn your head a little" I do as I'm told and he gets disinfectant wipes and wipes where my cut is. I stay still, completely used to the pain this time. He then puts Neosporin on it and finally patches it up with a gauze. "Alright, that's done. I now need to see your hip. I'm going to need you to lift your shirt slightly, ok?" I nod once more and pull down the cover and lift my shirt just enough so you can see the whole bruise. It's a big purple circle taking up most of my hip, Alex's eyes widen in shock. He quickly recovers though and grabs this salve called Arnica. He then rubs it all over the bruise. I try my best not to squirm but I can't help it, certain physical contact makes me squirm. Alex doesn't say anything about my squirming. He just gently places the hand he's not using on my stomach to stop it slightly. He wipes his hands on a cloth and I lower my shirt. The rest goes on in a similar fashion until we get to my back. "Alright, kiddo almost done. I'm going to need you to take off your shirt for this one" I freeze, suddenly scared. That's what the other homes would tell me when they were going to hit me hard.

"Philip? Philip are you ok? Philip?"

"Huh? Oh, um fine"

"I can tell you're lying remember"

"I'm not!" In my head, I tell myself to apologize. I'm screaming in my head _"take it back now"_ but instead I go on. "Why do you even care?! Can you stop pretending you _understand_! You don't! Nobody does! I know you don't care! Nobody does! How are you different? Look I'm done with your test! Just hit me already! I've been through enough houses to know your type. You get me comfortable then you let the shoe drop. Or you tell me you're going to take care of my bruises and all of the sudden I feel something hit my back! Stop trying to make it a surprise I know what's coming! JUST DO IT ALREADY!" I look up to see Alex's face and it's still full of gentleness which makes me even madder. He steps towards me and I flinch only to get his hand on my shoulder. "Philip, I will never hurt you" I almost believe him, almost. I step back and shake my head.

"Just go away!"

"Philip-"

"No, you're obviously still set on making it a surprise so if we're done just get out!"

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have pushed. I'll leave. Goodnight" He says this with still a gentle tone and quietly leaves my room. I grab a book and throw it at the wall in frustration. Nothing happens to the wall or the book but the thump is satisfying. I then begin to cry, just now noticing what I had said. The words _get out, go away, no one cares, hit me already_ echoing in the background to my constant murmurings of "what did I do?" My back is sore so I lay on my side that's not bruised. Tears streaming and repeating "what did I do" over and over I fall asleep. Rest doesn't come peacefully.

 **A/N Ok so sorry this is really sad. Anyway, I realized I'm horrible at writing Eliza so she is more of a side character. I really love her; she is an amazing person. Pippa is an adorable little cinnamon roll as well as Eliza but I can't write her. I don't want to mess her up though because I love her so much. Sorry. There might me some mom!Eliza but it will mainly be dadmilton. Also, Philip is not going to immediately trust them and I hate it when people do that. Like no he's thirteen and he has had a hard life he's not going to be like "Oh well I've been abused but they said they wouldn't and might as well have fun until they decide to give me back" Yeah no it will take more than that.**


	3. Chapter 3

**sA/N Thank you to everyone who reviewed! It really means a lot to me! I do a little happy dance anytime I see a review. So here is chapter 3 and for the guest that said "** _ **this hurts my heart…**_ **" well get ready for more heart-shattering parts. This is Hamilton after all. I blame Lin and history. Are you ready for a feels shattering chapter? No, well you're getting one!**

 **Disclaimer: I wish I had the talent Lin has but I don't so I can't own Hamilton.**

 **Also Spanish translation on bottoms**

 **Alex's POV**

I left the room. I was right, I was so right I can't be a good father. I messed up! I should have known how to treat him better but I just made him mad! Like always… I force myself to stop thinking like that. No, I should not think that way, George would be disappointed to see me going back to thinking like I used to think. The thing is I know what's going on right now in Philip's room. He thinks he made me mad or disappointed, he's thinking what did I do? When he didn't do anything and as much as I wish I could go right into his room that would make him scared or mad again. I open the door to my room and quietly change out of my clothes. Eliza has been watching me the moment I walked in the door. Her book now closed on her lap. Her eyes scanning me trying to figure out my thoughts. I slip into the bed and give her a peck on the cheek. I wrap and arm around her waist and she lays her head on my shoulder.

"You're frustrated, sad, and worried" I smile at her and run a hand through my hair and chuckle "And you said you couldn't read me. I can't deny though that you were slow this time what happened?" I say with a joking glint in my eyes and a joking tone. "Well, sorry but you're getting worried. Now stop avoiding the subject and tell me what's up" She says this and now she is in front of me a firm look in her eyes. "The sky," I say smirking " _Alexander_ ," she says in a warning tone. I look down at my hands "It's nothing really" The look in her eyes tells me she is not buying it.

"Uh, huh"

"It's Phi- Philip"

"What's wrong?"

"He- they – I can't be a good father for him" I break down sobbing it seems like I'm doing that a lot lately but I barely cried during my life and now I'm letting it all out. The next thing I know I am lying down my head crying into Eliza's neck. She's hugging me and pulls the cover in an attempt to keep me warm. "Ssh, Ssh it's ok. Now tell me what happened if you can" I do and by the time I'm finished I'm sobbing even more. She wraps her arms around me her hand rubbing soothe circles into my back. She begins speaking into my ear her voice barely above a whisper. "Ok baby, I'm really not saying its Philip's fault the poor thing had so many things happen to him but I'm not saying it's your fault either. He's going to get like that you said it yourself and it's not going to be our fault. Remember the list the Washington told us and that as long as we do those things we are doing it fine? It was no yelling. Did you yell at him?" I shake my head "ok and the other one was never raise a hand in front of him, even if it's to scratch your head he'll get scared. Did you raise your hand?" I shake my head "Did you push him to tell you information? The last one was physical contact and don't do more than necessary. Did you do that?" I shake my head again. "Then? You're fine." I pull back and give her a passionate kiss on the lips, cradling her head in my hands, her arms pressed tightly against my back. We pull back out of breath, smiling "I love you so much, Elizabeth Hamilton. What did I do to deserve you?" She smiles "Being you. I've told you a million times the minute I heard you tell me you loved me and not even then it was the minute you asked me out, I knew you were mine. The moment you walked in my heart went boom!" I smile and kiss her on the forehead. Then she talks once more

"Get some sleep, my love. Do you have to go to work tomorrow?"

"No, I think if I show up to work George will ground me and he won't care that I'm already an adult. He never does care how old I am." I grumble that last part. Eliza lets out a full laugh "Alex maybe if you acted a little less like a child he would notice" I get more comfortable wrapping my hands around her beautiful thin frame. I grumble a small "Whatever" and she snuggles closer to me "Get some sleep, my darling Alex" I happily oblige tired from the long day.

 **Eliza's POV (yay were doing this one)**

After only five minutes Alexander's breath even's out. Wow, it usually takes him hours. I wipe his wet face gently planting a soft kiss on his cheeks. He has so many self-doubts sometimes the thoughts he had as a teenager come back. The Washington's are good for him but he went through so much there will always be these times. I smile as I see him sleeping with no nightmares then I remember Philip is probably having loads of nightmares and in the morning he won't admit to them. I carefully unwrap myself from him and he lets out a small whimper. After all these years he is still scared someone will leave him. I rush to the other side of the bed and kneel next to him "Ssh baby, I'm just going to check on Philip, ok? I'll be back before you know it" He calms down and I walk out and to Philip's bedroom. I knock but I hear no answer. I try opening it, happy that he was too tired to lock it. I walk in to see the shadow of Philip tossing and turning in his sleep and do what I always do when Alex has a nightmare. Turn on the lights, my eyes adjust quicker now with so much practice and walk over to Philip. He seems to be waking up because of the light. His back is facing me and he sees that it's still dark outside. He rolls over and notices me. I see that he was about to cry but when he saw me held it back. I kneel next to his bed he stares at my eyes wide and before I get a chance to speak he opens his mouth "I'm so sorry if I woke you up. Oh, wait did Mr., uh I mean Alex tell you about earlier? Are you going to send me back? Don't worry I can be packed and ready to go as soon as you need me too. Also sorry for being disrespectful I accept whatever punishment you seem fit I will take quietly and obediently" Luckily all those years knowing Alex I was able to understand the words Philip said just fine though I wish I hadn't. "Philip, sweetheart we are not taking you home and you are not in trouble" He stares at me opening his mouth and closing it like he is at a loss for words "Uh thank you" he chokes out close to tears. "Of course, Philip. Please if you get another nightmare tell us. Just knock on our door and we will happily take you in" I smile warmly and then walk over and turn off the lights "Goodnight" I say with a small smile but he doesn't answer. I just close the door and walk back to my room where Alex is sleeping peacefully. I slip into our bed and his arms wrap around my waist tightly. I fall asleep knowing somehow things will be ok.

 **Philip's POV**

"Goodnight," Eliza says and lingers seeing if I say it back but I don't and she walks out. "Goodnight," I say quietly after she's long gone and let my sobs out. My nightmares were bad.

 _I'm in a big building. It's dirty, empty and cold. Then the first man who I ever stayed with comes out and then all of them. The last one to come out is Alex but the kind look he had in his eyes earlier are gone. All that's left is a hard glare. He grabs me by the collar his words and movements are slurred and his breath reeks of alcohol. "You little brat! Who do you think you are talking to me that way? You are a worthless, a bother, no one wants you around not even your family. Your mother died because you weren't strong enough to save her when your house went on fire. She died because of you. So did your father! He died because of your weakness! I feel a sharp slap on my back and then all of them men and women mercilessly beating me. Then when I feel like I'm going to pass out in pain. I'm transported to my hometown. Young me is sitting in the living room in our small apartment playing with cars when I smell something. Smoke! My dad comes and sweeps in one arm running towards the exit_

" _Donde vamos, papi?"_

" _fuera, precioso"_

" _Y, mami?"_

" _ella nos vera ayi"_

 _"ok, Papi" He continues running and sets me safety down, the neighbors are calling the fire department. My dad goes into the apartment to help my pregnant mom. I see the place slowly burning and no parents_

" _Papi! Mami! Donde estan!" I run towards the building only to be picked up by my neighbor "Chiqito, no puedes ir ayi. Tu papi me dijo." I cry into her shoulder and a blazing light takes over me. I wake up to Eliza._

That was my dream. I've never spoken a word of Spanish to anyone since. Though I've made sure to never forget it I talk to myself in Spanish anytime I can. Never to anyone else. My mother also taught me French and today was the first day I've spoken French to someone since. That night like many others I don't get a good night's sleep. Images of my past, my mother, and father, my foster parents that abused me which has been all but one of them. The hurt when that one that didn't abuse me gave me away. I wake up then fall asleep to another nightmare. It's my nightly routine. I do this until morning comes. I wake up in a cold sweat from my latest nightmare. I throw off my cover and groan at the pain in my back. I take off my sweaty pj's and look at my bruises. I didn't tell him about the cuts and welts in my legs. My back has a bunch of purple circles, cuts, and welts as well as my legs. I walk over and quickly change then walk back to my bed but trip at the covers on the floor. I let out a yell of pain and immediately regret it. Great I woke probably woke them up. No one comes in and it doesn't sound like anyone is waking up. I get up every part of my body protesting. Silent tears of pain fill my eyes as I walk over to where the bed is. I flop down only for another spike of pain to erupt in me. I close my eyes tight and the pain wears down to a small throbbing. I don't move just stay there for a few more seconds then slowly sit up. I start writing in my journal on how nice the Hamilton's are to me and my suspicions. I know their type. The longer they pretend to be nice to harder the punishment. I'm so into my writing I don't notice I've been writing for hours and that the Hamilton's already woke up. I hear a knock and look the clock 9:30 am! Shoot, they're probably already up and I've kept them waiting! "Come in," I say in a small voice. Alex walks in and I stand up quickly but groan at the spike of pain that hits me. Alex makes his way towards me and my eyes widen in fear. My eyes find their way to the floor, my shoulders tense and I dig my nails into my hands. I close my eyes tight waiting for the blow. "Philip, what's wrong? Are you ok?" My head shoots up and I look at him confusion evident "I'm fine. Also, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry about yesterday. I know I was disrespectful, p-please don't do this. I'll be- be good I promise. It won't ev- ever happen again! Please, I'm extremely sorry" Tears are falling and I'm shaking violently. He grabs my shoulders and I try to flinch away but his hold is strong but… gentle?

"Please, please don't- don't do this! Please, I'll behave. Please, please, please"

"Ssh I'm not mad, I never was mad. Ssh, kiddo your safe everything's safe." I keep my eyes on the floor my shaking only calmed because of Alex's hold on my shoulders "Philip, look at me please" I slowly move head towards him. "Look, you don't need to apologizing. I'm sorry for pushing, ok? I know how hard it is, trust me" He says it with a knowing tone I almost believe him, almost "How can you even begin to know?" I say my tone too harsh and too disrespectful. "I'm so sorry, sir!" He smiles and says "No, no it's fine. You don't know. I was in the foster system. My file- my file looked a- a lot like yours" He gets choked up "Oh" is all I say. My mind coming up with a million reason as to why he could still abuse me but maybe they won't -no. He has to be making it up to get my trust. Why would he do that? He probably needs someone to help get all his anger and pain out on. That would be me. Yeah, that has to be it! He speaks again "Yeah. Anyway please just forget about yesterday. You're not in trouble at all. We are not calling Ms. Jones you're fine." I nod "Good, now let's go get breakfast" I walk downstairs with him. The rest of the week goes pretty fine. Me, staying out of the way and in my room. Alex going to work, Eliza staying home not wanting to leave me alone. Then the second week comes and I ruin it!

 **A/n What did you think? Good, bad, eh. Ok so I had written a completely different version of this one and I didn't like it, it seemed bland so I had to rewrite it. I think this one better. Also maybe next week he starts trusting them! Maybe? Or maybe something awful will happen like stay alive reprise! Or somewhere in between. Maybe! You will have to wait and find out! Hahahaha! I'm evil! Also, the other Hamilton kids will come in soon! So here are the translations please don't use google translator to figure it out! I know Spanish so the google translate will probably mess up the words I put.**

" _ **Donde vamos, papi?"/ Where are we going, daddy?**_

" _ **fuera, precioso" / Outside, precious**_

" _ **Y, mami?" / and mommy?**_

" _ **ella nos vera ayi" / She'll meet us there**_

 _ **"ok, Papi" / ok, daddy**_

" _ **Papi! Mami! Donde estan!" /Mommy, daddy where are they!**_

" _ **Chiqito, no puedes ir ayi. Tu papi me dijo."/ Little one, you can't go there. Your daddy told me**_


	4. Chapter 4

**A/n Hello you guys! Ok so I'm updating again and I hope you like it! If you have any ideas on what you'd like to see I'd love to hear them so, please PM or comment your ideas and I'll incorporate and give credit! Oh, and tell me if I'm doing Alex and Eliza right or if there is anything I should add to them to make them more true to their characters. Also, there is a little** **1** **thing and that means I'll explain more in the end notes. Last thing quick thank you to Lily (guest) for your nice comment and that I'm so sorry for taking so long it's a mixture of being busy but also lazy! I had it written but not edited it and I got lazy and never did but here you go!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Hamilton**

 **Chapter 4**

 **Philip's POV**

This is my second week of me staying at the Hamilton's and they haven't broken their façade yet. I'm eating my cereal quietly as Eliza and Alex make small talk. I hate being here because I can tell they probably want to talk but not in front of me. Eliza probably wants to tell Alex how horrible and annoying I am and wants to call Ms. Jones immediately and tell her to take me back. I swirl my spoon around the plate not hungry at all and just focus on keeping down the few spoonful's I had. I sit my back hunched to help aching body that still after two weeks is sore. The parts that Alex could clean up are doing much better but it still hurts. A gentle female voice breaks me out of my thoughts "Philip?" My head jerks up and I sit up straight immediately thinking she is going to yell out me for my posture. "Sorry Ma'am" She frowns "For what, sweetie? I just wanted to ask if you would like some other cereal or something completely different. You're not eating much and I don't want you to starve" great she now probably thinks I'm ungrateful "Oh no its fine I'm just not very hungry" Which is true I'm barely keeping my food down. She doesn't look convinced but nods "Ok, darling…" I go look at my food and grimace hoping they didn't catch it. "May I be excused?" Alex and Eliza both nod and quickly take my plate to the sink and rush upstairs. I lay on my bed and wait for the nausea to go away.

 **Eliza's POV (I'm not as bad as I thought I was!)**

As I watch Philip rush upstairs I can't help notice how skinny he is and how his face seemed to have gotten and greenish tint. I stare at the stairs mind filled with worry for my foster son. I feel a warm hand slip into mine and give it a squeeze pulling me back to reality. "Betsey? Are you ok?" I look at my husband's warm brown eyes and let out a breath. "Yeah, I'm fine. It's Philip I'm worried about. Alex his face was green and he probably ate like 3 spoonfuls! He is probably underweight and I _care_ about him!" He grabs my other hand and looks me in the eye "I know, I know. It take's patience my dearest, Eliza" I smile at the name he said. It was a joke between Angelica and I and she would add commas to all the texts he'd send her. When he texted, he liked to talk all old and formal so he would say "my dearest Angelica" and she would edit the text for it to say "my dearest, Angelica" so now he likes calling me "my dearest (pause), Eliza" anyway I say "Since when did you become the patient one?" He smirks "since you became a mother" I laugh and pull him in for a kiss. Our lips are about to meet when my phone goes off. Alex laughs and I quickly grab my phone not even checking the caller id and answer with a rather annoyed "What do you want?" The caller on the other side clears his or her's throat and says "Well I'm sorry to bother you" it's a woman and it's my boss I quickly speak "No! I'm sorry I didn't check the id I thought it was one of my sisters." She gives me an unbelieving laugh and says "Anyway, I've had enough of your absence you _will_ be here today or else I can find another teacher to teach your class. Permanently" She replies curtly

"Ma'am with all due respect I just fostered a boy and I don't want to leave him alone"

"How old is he?"

"13"

"Perfectly capable of staying home alone or better yet _going to school!_ "

"He has been through a lot and is not the most sociable kid. He can have a temper if provoked and has panic attacks"

"Have you ever well I don't know punished him for doing this?"

"FOR HAVING PANIC ATTACKS!" I wince hoping I wasn't loud enough for Philip to hear

"Of course not! But he is probably staging them in need of attention. Scold him and force him to go to school you are his parent now"

"No"

"Ok then get to work!"

"Of course Mrs. Laurens" **(Johns mom)** I hang up the phone steaming at the entire conversation. How can this be the mother of John, sweet John? I feel Alex place a hand on my shoulder. He is dressed for work white button up, tie, slacks and dress shoes. His briefcase is by the door as well as his blazer. "Honey who was that?" I look at him and rest my head on his shoulder

"work"

"oh"

"Yeah I have to go in today or else I get fired"

"Oh, ok I'll call George and tell him I can't come in"

"Alex I don't want you to do that"

"And I don't want you to lose you dream job. George will understand" I let out a sigh of defeat and walk over to the stairs to go get changed for work.

 **Alex's POV**

I go and grab my phone to call George that I'm not going into work today. I call the office instead of his cell since he is probably already at work. A lady answers it and directs it to George but instead, I get met with Jefferson. "Hello?" A voice with a southern drawl picks up obviously, Jefferson. "Jefferson? I'm calling for Washington" I ask annoyed "Well he is busy so I'll be taking calls, Hamilton" I take a deep breath because if I start yelling Philip will hear me and get scared

"Look tell Washington I'm very sorry but I can't be at work today but I'll get as much done at home as possible"

"Hamilton, you have to come into work"

"Look my wife needs to go to work and I have a foster kid I need to stay home with"

"Get a nanny"

"No, he barely trusts us"

"Put him in school"

"Do I need to repeat myself? Let me make it clear my foster son doesn't trust us. How will he do in school? He's not ready for that yet" I say really slowly trying to make him understand

"Hamilton, don't talk down to me!"

"Why not? You're not my superior!"

"I'm still an adult"

"Who is not capable of understanding BASIC INFORMATION!" My voice raised and it was just below Philip being able to hear me.

"Oh stop that you're being unreasonable! You-" I hear a muffled JEFFERSON! Then the phone being put on hold when I'm taken off hold it's George's voice "Alexander were you yelling?" I blush, shame rising in my cheeks I respond a quiet "Yes" I hear George sigh "Look, please try not to yell for the sake of your child. What if he heard you yell?" his voice sterner than usual because now the yelling could affect a child. I look down at my feet. "Sorry. It won't happen again, George"

"I'm sure it won't. Now I assume you called for another reason than yell at Jefferson?" His voice is stern to make sure I know my actions are not allowed but there is a hint of gentleness which means he is no longer mad "Actually yes. You see Eliza got a call and is now being forced to go to her job instead of being here with Philip. We don't want to leave him alone so I _need_ to stay home, please." There is a pause before George answers "Of course, son." I let out a sigh of relief and say a quick thank you. I hang up and see Eliza giving me a worried look.

"So?"

"He said yes" She smiles and hugs me.

"Perfect! Plus, you could use a break!"

"Uh, Eliza I can't really do that. I have so much work to do and-" ( **a/n This is not take a break. This is just one of the many times poor Eliza wants Hammy to relax)**

"No, you _will_ take a break and spend time with your son. Got it?"

" _Eliza"_ I whine and she frowns " _Alexander_ you work too much. I'm sure whatever this is can wait until _tomorrow_." I'm about to protest again but she cuts me off " _No"_ I slump my shoulder in defeat. "Fine!" She smiles and plants a kiss to my cheek. "Goodbye, love," she says while walking to the door. "If you really loved me you would let me work!" I yell back "No, Alex!" Then I hear the door close. I fall onto the couch. Great now what do I do!? I look over to the piano that my parents got us. I haven't played it in years, Eliza is the one who mainly plays it. I go over and start to play one of the songs I used to write. It was called Hurricane.

 _"In the eye of a hurricane, there is quite for just a moment I yellow sky. When I was 11 a hurricane destroyed my town, I didn't drown I couldn't seem to die. I wrote my way out wrote everything done far as I could see. I wrote my way out. I looked up and the town had its eyes. Passed a plate around total strangers moved to kindness by my story. Raised enough for me to book passage on a ship that was New York bound. I wrote my way out. I was louder than the crack of the bell. I wrote Eliza love letter until she fell. I wrote about immigration and defended it well. When my prayers were met with indifference I picked up a pen I wrote my own deliverance. In the eye of a hurricane, there is quite for just a moment a yellow sky. I was twelve when my mother died she was holding me we were sick and she was holding me I couldn't seem to die. I'll my way out write everything down far as I can see. I'll write my way out overwhelm them with honesty. This is the eye of a hurricane this is the only way I can protect my legacy"_ _ **1**_ _To_ say I was surprised was an understatement. After years of not playing that I could play it! I turn around and see Philip when he sees that I noticed he was there his eyes widen.

 **Philip's POV**

I stand their eyes wide. He's going to yell at me for being down here and listening to him play. I should have been upstairs those are usually the rules; stay in your room unless asked to come downstairs. I open my mouth to apologize but my mouth once more betrays me. "What are you doing here?" It's his house, Philip! You have no right to ask that! "Uh, I'm- I'm rea- really so- sorry! I'm sorry-" I rush out but he raises a hand and I immediately close my mouth and tense readying for a blow but he says "Hey, kiddo its fine this is your home too. You have every right to be down here and you have a right to ask me why I'm here. I'm usually not here at this time" He smiles a warm smile and I relax a little, only a little. He motions for me to sit down next to him "Wanna sit down, kiddo?" His voice is soft and it sounds like a question but it never is. I make my way and sit down next to him on the piano stool. He keeps his hands on his thighs never moving them and he keeps as much distance as me from him as possible, huh. That's never happened before maybe- No! He just wants to gain your trust. "Alright now to answer your question I'm here because Eliza had to go to work today but we don't want to leave you home alone yet. Not that we don't trust you but this is a new house and we want you to be as comfortable as possible." I notice how he doesn't say home but house he might care about me and is making sure I – no stop thinking like this, Philip he wants you to know this is NOT your home. I nod and say "Oh ok." I rub my neck sheepishly and say "Sorry for being rude, sir. I didn't mean to. I understand you had not spoken to me and it was not my place to speak." I look down and I feel someone hook a finger under my chin to which I flinch slightly. "Hey, Philip you were not rude and you can speak even if I didn't directly tell you that you could. If you ever want to talk about something or have a question just let me or Eliza know and we would be more than happy to listen to you. Also, if what you want to talk about can be anything, alright?" I nod not really believing him but wanting this conversation to be over. He takes his finger away from my chin and says

"Ok, now do you wanna watch a movie or something?"

"Uh, do you want to, sir?"

"I don't mind, kiddo. I'm just bored out of my mind!" He says. To prove his point, he lets his face fall onto the now closed piano he also lets the word bored and mind go on longer for emphasis. I smile slightly but quickly hide it. If he noticed it he doesn't let on. "Uh, I'm uh cool with a mo-movie" Gosh Philip, since when do stumble so much. What happened to all those fancy words, huh? I voice that I thought I had forgotten comes back and I let out a small shiver. Alex seems not to notice it "Alright!" We walk over to the couch and I notice he sits as far away from me as possible. I'm grateful but at the same time, I'm mad at myself. Great Alex, he's disgusted by you and wants to be as far away from you as possible. I jerked out of my thoughts when I notice Alex has been talking to me. I go with the option that will most likely get me out of whatever he was talking about "Yes." There is a pause and I brace myself for a yelling but instead am met with laughter. I look at him and he does his best to contain his laughter.

"You didn't hear a word I said did you, kiddo?" He is barely holding in his laughter "Cause if you were I've never heard about the movie called yes." My eyes grow wide and I blush furiously "Uh, I- I uh I wasn't listening, Mr. Hamilton. Sorry" I look down and tense. I hear his voice all the humor gone and replaced by… gentleness?

"Kiddo, I'm not mad everyone spaces out sometimes. Also, it's Alex, not Mr. Hamilton"

"But I- I was rude and-"

"You were not rude" He cuts me off sharply voice leaving no room for argument. He doesn't seem mad just intent on making me understand I was not rude. I nod and he gives me a gentle smile. "Alright, now what movie do you wanna watch?" Oh, great he wants me to choose! I've never watched any movie in my life! Yes, sad but with my parents we were poor and the one good family they made sure their kids were busy so no time. My other foster families didn't allow it. "I don't know many movies," I say quietly "Well we can watch a Disney one!" I shake my head "I've never watched any movies" I say even quieter. "Then I'll choose and since your childhood sounds like mine. I'll do what Laff did when he found out I'd never watched any movies. Which one did he show me? Oh, right Harry Potter1!" He put the movie on and sits down.

 **Alex's POV**

I put the movie on and I see just how tired Philip looks. How much sleep does the boy get? He sitting stiff and straight but as the movie goes on each time I glance at him his posture is relaxing. His eyes are drifting shut and suddenly his body falls limp sideways on the couch. The posture looks uncomfortable and his body will be even sorer than before but I'm nervous as to how he'll react to my touch. After a while, I can't help myself the boy is in much pain as it is he may as well have a good sleep. I decide to let him stay on the couch and I maneuver his too light body so his head is in my lap and his legs stretched across the couch. Risky move but I want him to be comfortable and the couch is not the most comfortable place. I continue to watch the movie but give up. The boy in front of me takes up all my attention. I run my hands through his curls that he left down today. Carefully untangling them without pulling his hair too much. Hey, I've had plenty of friends with curly hair and I've seen them do it plenty of times my own foster brother has curly hair. I look at his face and notice the little scars, scratches, and bruises that I couldn't see before because I always kept distance between us. I continue to run my hand through his hair while noticing more about him. He has a lot of little scars everywhere and he is too skinny. I get a little distracted and pull on his hair a little. Philip gives a slight wince in his sleep and stirs. I wince as well for causing him slight pain. I lean over and whisper in his ears "Ssh you're ok, you're safe. Ssh, Ssh" After me whispering in his ear he calms back down. I feel myself falling asleep as well. I've probably been sleeping just as well as Philip because of work I sometimes just skip sleep. After a while of fighting it, I fall into a peaceful sleep.

 **Eliza's POV**

I hear the last bell ring indicating school out. The kids rush to pack and for once I love their enthusiasm to leave school. They rush out and I follow suit a few minutes later. I run and one of the teacher stops me. "Hey kid, you know the rules no running in the halls" They hadn't seen my face they must think I'm just one of the students who dresses older for their age. I stop and look at the teacher "Mandy! It's me, Eliza!" She laughs and says "Well, I thought you were a student! Were you off that you're running out of here like one of the kids" I laugh as well "Home, I got a foster kid at home. First time I leave him well he's with my husband but still!" She smiles "Well, Liza see you tomorrow! Also, no running in the halls or I'll give you detention!" I laugh and say a quick of course before rushing to my car. I put my keys in and get out of there. The traffic is horrible and by the time I get home, it's 4:30 even though I left at 3:30! I park the car and run into my house. I'm about to call out to Alex tell him I'm home when I notice two figures on the couch. I quietly make my way to the couch and my heart warms at the sight. Philip's asleep with his head on Alex's lap and Alex is passed out an arm across Philip's chest protectively. I snap a quick picture and send it to my in-laws.

 **Eliza: Look at this! My two babies [picture]**

 **Martha: I'm so happy! That picture is beautiful, sweetie!**

 **George: Good Alex needs to rest! As well as Philip if I remember anything is that they get a lot of nightmares.**

 **Eliza: Yeah I know he hasn't been telling us but I can tell Philip doesn't sleep well.**

 **Martha: Trust takes time, sweetheart! Don't worry he'll come around! Falling asleep means he feels somewhat safe subconsciously.**

 **George: Trust takes time, sweetheart! Don't worry he'll come around! Falling asleep means he feels somewhat safe subconsciously.**

 **Martha: George, we sent the same thing at the same time! See that makes it extra true!**

 **Eliza: *{smiley face** **1** **}* Thanks, Martha, George! Sending love from both Alex and me!**

 **George: Love you too, sweetie**

 **Martha: Love you, darling!**

I close my phone smiling I always feel better after talking to them. The minute Alex I started dating junior year of high school they had already welcomed me as a Hamilton/Washington. Though Martha was embarrassing at times (every second I was with her) I loved and love her. She was the mom to everyone in our group of friends. Especially to John and Herc because their parents were hardly ever around. George was the stern dad but loved all of us, was also able to joke around and was understanding and gentle while still slapping some sense into us. I smile remembering the old days as I walk to my bedroom to change. I put on a plain blue t-shirt, washed out jeans and sneakers. I walk over to the kitchen and start making 2 plain cheese pizzas. I'm putting it in the oven when a half-asleep Alex walks in. I smile at how cute he looks and he comes over and wraps his arms around my waist. He plants a kiss to my cheek and I melt. How after being married for two years I still get that way! I'm not a high schooler anymore! "So, how was work?" he asks still half asleep "It was fine but I missed my boys" I turn to see Alex smiling at calling Philip one of _my boys_. He understands how the kid feels better than anyone and even though he knows I won't ever hurt him he likes to make sure I really care about Philip. He knows the pain of not trusting, being left alone and even though I hate to say it the physical pain. I finish putting the pizza in the oven and Alex helps me cut up the toppings so I can cook them.

"So how long did you sleep?"

"Since you left" I turn to him and laugh but then I turn serious "You never sleep that long! Alex, how much sleep have you been getting?!" He looks away. Oh, no that can't be good. He mumbles something "Huh?!" I answer furious but at the same time worried for his health "I haven't" he says and I barely catch it.

"What do you mean you haven't!"

"Uh, I haven't slept in uh three nights in a row for more than half an hour?"

"THREE NIGHTS!" He scrambles towards me "Ssh, Philip" He says pointing to the living room and I control my anger. "Three nights!" I whisper-yell and he nods.

"Alex why?"

"I don't know!"

"Yes, you do," I say firmly "No I don't" with he says with less conviction " _Yes you do_ " doing my best to mimic George "No I don't?" I raise an eyebrow "Fine, yes I do! It's the stress of not being a good father combined with worrying about Philip just not being ok. I throw myself into work! Happy?!" He yells and I flinch he hardly ever yells at me. Sure, I'd heard him yell at other people (a lot: especially that in his words "good for nothing, annoying Jefferson) but me? Once or twice? Never this mad, though! He noticed my flinch and all the anger melts away in a second and is replaced with guilt. "Eliza! I'm so sorry! I know you were just worried about me. I shouldn't have yelled. I'm sorry!" I place a hand on his shoulder "It's fine. You're stressed." He doesn't seem fully convinced but good enough for now. "You _need_ to sleep. You will be no good for _Philip_ sick or weak because of not sleeping" I make sure to put emphasis on the fact that it will not help Philip. He looks down "What if I'm like my father? Or what if I get mad and- and hu- hurt him!?" My eyes widen and I clamp a hand over my mouth "Alex! You don't really think that?" He nods "No you will never hurt him, _ever._ Look I don't pretend to know the challenges your facing. The thoughts1 you keep erasing and replacing in your mind but I'm not afraid I know who married. I know you are going to be a great father!" He looks up eyes shining with unshed tears. He wipes the tears and wraps me in a hug whispering "Thank you". I melt into his warm embrace letting myself get lost in his arms. Memories come folding back our first kiss, our first date, the time I first met him and everything. I hear a soft muffled sneeze and turn to see Philip looking at us.

 **Philip's POV**

I wake up on the couch. My back doesn't hurt as much as I thought it would from the potion I thought I'd fallen asleep in. Wait I fell asleep! Alex is probably mad at me for falling asleep during the movie! I notice that a blanket is covering me and a pillow under my head. Wait Alex did this for me? He cares for me? No, it's the calm before the storm he'll send me back but wants to make himself look good first. I sit up and stretch I decide to go to the kitchen to get a quick glass of water and hope they don't notice I was in there without permission. I have no such luck. When I walk into the kitchen I see Eliza and Alex hugging. I stand there stunned then turn around to make my way back to my bedroom but I sneeze. I try my best to cover it but they still hear me. Eliza turns around and Alex lets go of Eliza. I stand there frozen not knowing what'll happen to me. Eliza smiles and talks "Hey Philip. Sleep well?" I stand there stunned at her response but quickly recover and answer with a polite "Yes ma'am." They both smile and Alex makes his way over towards me "I'm glad, kiddo. Dinner should be ready soon. You're free to do as you like until then. I'll be in the living room if you need me and Eliza will be here, ok?" I nod but then a thought occurs to me "Wait what about the couch? Shouldn't I organize it again cause it's kinda of a mess?" He frowns

"I'll do that. No need to worry, Philip"

"But-"

"It's fine," He says this with a smile and I nod. I notice I haven't been in their backyard. I look at it but decide against they probably would prefer me to stay in my room. Alex seemed to have noticed me looking at the back door. "Philip?" I look back at him

"Uh yeah?"

"You don't have to stay in your room, you know."

"Oh, it's fine. I prefer my room." He frowns "You need the sun. You're going outside" He says firmly. I don't know why he did that. I thought he'd prefer me out of the way. I look down at my feet and nod but then ask quietly "Can I go get my sketch and notebooks also my pens, pencils, colors?" I look up at him hopeful and see him smiling "Of course!" I smile for the first time in the whole time I've been there. "Thank you!" I say enthusiastically. I don't care if I get in trouble I'm too happy. I get to go outside draw and write! I've haven't been able to do that since well since I was 8 and I was with that one family. I rush upstairs and get my stuff and then head downstairs and open the back door. What I see stops me makes me stop in awe. It's beautiful. There are trees and there is a wooden swing. There is plenty of shade and the air smells like fresh! I remember there is a lake somewhere like half an hour from here. I've always lived in the city. Even though the Hamilton's don't live super deep on the outskirts of New York it's beautiful. The backyard wasn't huge but it wasn't small either. Mainly the trees were from the other side of the brick wall. There was one tree but it was a big tree. The evening light gave just enough light for me to write and draw without needing extra light. I go and sit down under the tree and let my hand write and draw everything and anything that pops into my mind. I don't know how long I sat there but soon I already had a poem done and a sketch of the backyard done. I'm about to ink it when I hear footsteps and I notice that it's a little chilly and the backlight is on because the sky is already dark. I look towards the foot-steps. I see Alex and Eliza holding a large blanket both in long sleeves. In Eliza's hand is 2 pizzas and in Alex's hand is a paper bag. They come over to me and I start picking up and closing my books. Are they mad? Did they notice how obnoxious I am? Wait have they been calling my name for a while and I didn't even hear them and now there out here to send me back? "Hey, sweetie! Where going to eat out here if you don't mind." I nod and she looks at me "You must be freezing! Alex, can you get me his jacket that we bought him?" He nods and goes upstairs. Eliza sets up the picnic and Alex comes back but with a blanket. "Eh Eliza we haven't bought him a jacket," He says sheepishly. "Oh whatever just make sure he stays warm" He makes his way over towards me and sits down. He opens the blanket and looks at me first "Can I?" I nod a little wary and he wraps the blanket around me. I suddenly notice how cold and thankful for the blanket. Eliza pushes a plate towards me and says in the sternest voice I've heard her use "You're eating it all. Got it?" I nod and begin picking at it. Eliza talks about her students and tells me how much I'll like the middle school. She says she's heard a lot of good things from her students about it. I find myself laughing quietly at Alex's (lame) jokes and talking with them about what I like. Before I know it, the evenings gone and they're sending me off to bed. I reach my room and change into my pajamas. The last thought before falling asleep is "What have I done?" I've gotten too close to them. They'll send you home or hurt you and it will hurt you more than ever because you let yourself believed they cared.

 **A/n Hahaha you thought it'd end on a happy note! Though I did give you some happiness granted it didn't last long but oh well! Little** **1** **notes:**

 _ **This**_ _ **is**_ _ **the**_ _ **eye**_ _ **of**_ _ **a**_ _ **hurricane**_ _ **this**_ _ **is**_ _ **the**_ _ **only**_ _ **way**_ _I_ _ **can**_ _ **protect**_ _ **my**_ **legacy** _"_ **.; Ok so before you tell me I go the lyrics wrong 1. I changed them up a little and probably made this song terrible but it had to go with more modern times 2. I don't cuss so I took that out.**

 _ **Oh, right Harry Potter;**_ **Ok so confession time here's what I got (hehe Hamilton reference cause I'm hamiltrash) I've never watched Harry Potter or read the books but it's a popular movie so I decided to put it in there instead of my weird taste in movies that you've probably never heard of.**

 _ ***{smiley face}***_ **; I put this here for a dumb reason and it's because I'm lintrash so anything he's written I love and ready for a 21 chump street reference? Next thing you know we're texting day and night I trust her right away like whoa!**

 _ **Look I don't pretend to know the challenges your facing. The thoughts**_ **; Before you go saying I messed up the lyric again changed it to match the situation. Alright, that's long but done! See ya!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N Hey guys! Quick thanks to lily(guest) and her sister for commenting such nice things on this story! It really means a lot! Ok quick things here I'll acknowledge the reviews I get but I'm also so thankful for all the favorites and story followers! It's easier for me to just talk about the reviews but everyone regardless if you favorited, reviewed, followed or just read my story it really means so much to me! I love all of you and am so happy that people are reading my story! Love you, and now for the next chapter! See bottom for translations. Once more don't use google translate it might mess it up!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Hamilton**

 **Alex's POV (for any confusion these are Alex's thoughts during and after the picnic)**

We finished dinner a while ago but we have been talking for longer. Eliza is talking about his school which we he'll start next week. I'm watching my wife smiling and explaining everything and whispering reassurances. Philip is actually smiling and today he's showed us a different side of him. He's opening up and I'm so happy! I spare a quick glance at my phone and notice its already 11pm. I put my phone down and pay a little more attention and see that even though Philip's fighting it, he's tired. I decide that's the time to interject. "Eliza?" She turns to look at me. "Yeah?" I reach for my phone and show her the time. Her mouth makes a little 'o' shape. She turns back to Philip and says "Philip it's late. Why don't we call it a night?" He looks like he's about to protest and I try my best to be gentle but stern even though I want to jump for joy. Yeah most parents don't jump for joy when their kids protest but he's never done that before! He's never objected to something we've said and now it seems he's not afraid of us (that much) anymore. " _Philip_ , it's late you need sleep. Let's go" I say though I stay seated not wanting him to get scared. He shows slight fear but not as much as usual which means progress. He nods and gets up wrapping the blanket tightly around himself. Eliza and I gather the things and we all walk inside. Eliza and I start washing the dishes and Philip says. "I can help if you want. What do you want me to do?" one quick look at him in the light and you see how tired he is. I shake my head.

"Philip you're exhausted. We want you to go to bed"

"But-"

"Nope. Philip please get some rest"

"Ok" He makes his way over to the stairs but I stop him "Hey!" He turns around confused "Yeah?" I smile at how he doesn't seem scared at me stopping him "Good night!" He smiles and says "Night Alex, Night Eliza!" Eliza smiles "Night sweetheart." With that he walks over to his room. Things are looking up.

-Later that night-

 **Eliza's POV**

I feel my husband slip into the bed and turn towards him. Smiling nestle closely to him "Today was a good day." I feel him running his hands through my hair and chuckling. "Yeah it was" he says.

"Do you think he'll open up?"

"Maybe. It'll take time for him to trust us. I have to warn you today could be great for him or horrible."

"Why horrible"

"he could get scared by the fact that he's getting comfortable. Foster kids don't get confrontable"

"Oh" is all I say. So today could have helped him or made him worse. Perfect just perfect. I decide not to think about this since I have no control of the outcome. "Ok, uh so what'll we do about tomorrow. I can't not go to work. I mean I don't want you to skip another day" I know Alex gets antsy when he misses work too much. I look up at him and see him relaxed "I'll say. It'll only be tomorrow then it's the weekend and then he starts school." Ok having this kid change him a lot not that I'm complaining. I nod into his shirt and fall into a peaceful sleep.

-Next day breakfast-

 **Philip's POV**

I'm sitting at the kitchen table writing while Alex is in his office catching up on work he missed. Eliza left earlier with and told us that she was going to be home late because she was going to buy my school supplies. After yesterday's events, I woke up early and created a plan. These people can't be perfect and they can't care for me. No one has cared for me since Mami and Papi and no one will try to replace them. I'm tired of waiting for the shoe to drop I so I'm taking matter into my own hands. _**'That's right, Philip mess up another placement. When will you finally learn that no one cares for you! Huh, yesterday you took it too far got too close and now they're going to hurt you. Because you are a dumb, ungrateful, worthless little brat!'**_ I let the voice go on and tell me these things. I can't escape the truth forever. _**'You killed your mother and father! You don't deserve anyone'**_ My breathing is starting to come in quick gasps but I keep fueling it. Why do I keep fueling it?! _**'You should have been left alone after your parents' death. You should have helped but you were too weak. Weak weak weak!'**_ It becomes too much. I'm being consumed by the voice. _**'See you can't even control your thoughts. Weak, weak, weak!'**_ I squeeze my eyes shut and put my hands to my ears. "Stop! Stop!" I yell too lost in thought. My throat closes and I can't breathe. Suddenly someone's hands are on my cheeks. I can't hear or see them. The voice keeps saying _**'weak'**_. A hand is on my chest telling me to do something but I still can't hear them. I feel the hand move up and down and I realize the person is telling me to breathe. It's hard but my hearing comes back and I can hear "Uno, dos, tres, repsira con migo. Uno, dos, tres…" My vison slowly comes back although blurred at first I can see Alex. He is sitting in front of me holding my head so I am looking directly at him. "Ayi estas, mijo. Estas bien? Me puedes decir que paso?" Then I remember why everything happened, my plan. "Why do you care? And don't call me mijo!" I snap back. By Alex's expression he seems surprised but I'm not done yet no I'm just getting started. "Don't act like you care about me when you don't! Why don't you get lost and go back to your precious work! We _both_ now you'd rather be there! Eliza is a teacher, right? Oh of course you work non- stop! She makes no money! Wait so she gets to go off and do what she likes and you sit here and what do your work again? Her job is pointless while you provide everything? Nice dynamic! Explains why you got me! You need the money. You probably begged Eliza to get me since she does nothing around the house! I mean did she pay for this house? On a teacher's salary, I doubt it!" I finish my sarcastic/yelling monologue and to finish it off laugh at the end at his face. "Oh what? Surprised? Ha! What are you going to do about it?" Now I wait.

 **Alex's POV**

To say I'm surprised at the words Philip said is an understatement. Yes, I'm mad at the fact about all the things he said about Eliza. I don't know how to respond. I think what George would do but my mind comes blank. I decide on the first thing that pops into my head which I'm not sure is the best option.

"Philip, why don't you go up to your room and for today we'll stay out of each other's way. Ok? I think you might need some space" Yeah I realize this was a bad idea when he gets up and doesn't lose the attitude. "That's the best you got, old man? You're not good at this, are you?" He storms upstairs and slams the door. I wince at the loudness of it but don't act on it.

\- Eliza's home-

Philip decided to eat dinner in his room today so I'm recounting today's events with Eliza.

"Hm, ok maybe it's a one-time thing give it a few days and ignore him. If it stops good, if he doesn't well talk to your parents"

"How many days?"

"Let him start school it might be nerves"

"Ok" We finish our dinner and head to bead early. It was a long day for both of us.  
\- 1st day of school for Philip-

Eliza just left for work and I'm sitting waiting for Philip to end what has become his new morning routine. He wakes up, comes downstairs, eats breakfast, Eliza leaves, he yells at me for who knows what! I wait it out knowing it'll come to a stop eventually and then I can drive him to school. I look at the clock and notice that if we don't get going he's going to be late. I stand up, grab the keys and make my way over to the door.

"Hey! I'm talking!" He follows and continues yelling at me all the way to the car earning weird looks from the neighbors. In the car, he doesn't stop and I just zone him out and even send a quick text to George saying I need to speak with him this morning. He seems to get angrier at the fact that I'm ignoring him. We get to school and he finally finishes our wonderful talk and walks out of the car without a glance back. Today is going to be a long day.

 **Philip's POV**

I walk into school my voice raw from yelling. Nothing's working he's not reacting at all! An idea hits me! I must act out in public! Then he'll be mad for sure and then I'll be gone or get a beating and I know I'd deserve it! I've been horrible to him lately but I'd rather get hurt and deserve it or get hurt and not deserve it. I walk into my first-class intent on being rude to everyone. The teacher welcomes me with a smile and kindly says

"You must be the new student! Eliza has been bragging about you so much! We're so excited to have you! Can you introduce yourself, please?" I almost don't do it. Eliza had been bragging about me? I swallow the lump in my throat and say "No. No one cares I'm just going to sit down and you're not going to bother me ok?" Her eyes widen in surprise. "Philip Hamilton-" I cut her off

"Its Philip Ramos."

"Watch you tone, young man. I'm going to leave you off with a warning this time but let me tell you this behavior will not be tolerated and next time we're calling your parents-"

"Foster parents"

"And you will have detention" I decide to lay off now. I'm want to have a longer list for the Hamilton's to get mad at me about it. "Yeah fine" I walk over to the backseat and sit down. Not bothering to listen to the lesson. Bell rings and I make my way to the locker. This kid comes up to me

"Yo, what do you think you're doing?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean talking to the teacher like that? Trying to conquer this place. Look only me and my friends do that! Everyone else stays quiet! Got it, punk"

"And what if I don't"

"Oh, we'll make your life's the worst possible"

"Oh I'm so scared! Just get lost! I not dealing with you!" I say the last part loudly so the same teacher that was there for my first class walks out. Perfect, they're watching me. I land a hard punch o his jaw and he stumbles back. I walk towards him and he kicks me in my barely healing ribs. I swallow the pain and land a kick to his side. The teacher from earlier pulls me away and helps the boy up. "George? Mr. Eacker are you ok?" He shakes his head she helps him go the infirmary. "Mr. Ramos? Are you ok?" I nod and follow her to the principal's office despite the pain in my ribs. I get an icepack and sit down in the office while the boy, Eacker my mind supplies goes to the nurse. His jaw is probably bruised hopefully broken and he is sporting a bloody nose. The teacher comes out again.

"Mr. Ramos we called your parents and then we'll discuss punishment for this with them. If this is to happen again I promise the punishment will be ten times harsher than the one you will be getting today." With that she walks away. I sit there looking at the bruises that have been reopened because of the fight. I know there will be more that will be reopened later but I can handle pain. I know also that there won't be a next time because the Hamilton's are going to give me back like all the other foster homes have. I hear the door open and I see Mr. Hamilton at the door his face doesn't give away any emotions. The office lady shows him where the principal's office is and he walks inside. A bubble of fear erupts in my chest. Sure I can handle a beating but by handle I mean not cry at the moment not that it won't hurt. After what seems like hours of waiting Alex finally walks out. He motions for me to follow him and I scramble to get up and follow him out the door. The drive home is silent which just makes me scared. He's waiting for us to get home so no one can see what he is about to do. We get home and that's when he starts talking.

"Philip, go wait for me at the couch. I'll be there soon" I nod and walk over to the couch. Ok so he prefers not getting his hands dirty and is probably finding something to hit me with. That'll in some way hurt less but in other hurt more. One hit will hurt less than with his hand but he'll last longer than if he punches me. He walks in with a first aid kit and ice packs. Ok weird? He sets them down on the coffee table and sits on the pulls up a chair to sit in front of me. "Philip, first I want to hear the story from your perspective then we'll talk, ok?" What? He wants to hear my story.

"Why do you care? Just tell me my punishment and we can move on!"

" _Philip"_

"What? I'm don't want go through this! Get to the point and I can continue my life!"

"Watch you tone, young man. I asked you a question?"

"Yeah and I _told_ you I'm not answering it"

"I don't care what _you_ told me. I didn't ask if you wanted to did I? Now, unless you want to go with the story that your principle told me which was that. People saw Eacker approach you and one minute later you punched him in the jaw. You also didn't stop there you kicked him in the ribs. Also before that you talked back to the teacher and were very rude. Would you like me to go with that story?"

"It's what happened!"

"You punched him unprovoked?"

"I didn't want to talk to him!"

"Ok then if that's the story we'll cut right to it then. Philip, fighting is _not_ tolerated, understood? I don't want to ever have to pick you up because you fought a kid. Especially if he did nothing bad to you."

"I don't really care what you approve of and what you don't!"

"Excuse me?"

"Are you deaf? You heard what I said. I didn't want to talk to him so I punched him"

"Philip cut the attitude, _now_ "

"No! Leave me alone!" I watch Alex as his anger slowly builds up. I smile that I did my job. I wait for the first punch to be thrown but am met with words. "Philip Ramos! Enough! I'm am done with your attitude. I am done with you not respecting or listening to me. I am extremely disappointed in you and how you've been handling yourself these past couple of days! That ends _now_!" The fact that he was disappointed in me hurt me more than a punch would have. I push the feeling away. Why do you care what he thinks about you? Fear takes over where the hurt was. He is strong it could really hurt. "Oh really! You think you can make me do anything! These past few days have showed otherwise" My voice still strong but not as much as before because of the fear. "Philip! What is wrong with you right now? Do you want me to be mad at you? Do you like me being mad at you? Personally, I'd rather not be mad at you but it might just be me!" I gulp down the lump in my throat and say "Maybe if you minded your own business then you might not be mad at me? Ever think of that, old man?" He stands up, lifts his hand and I flinch only to see him run his hand through his hair. "Do you think this is funny? How do you not get-" He doesn't get to finish his thought because my mind acts on impulse and fear. I throw a punch at him.

 **Alex's POV**

I had finished talking to George when my phone rang. He told me he needed to see me lose my cool but still never hurt him or throw him out. He wanted to see if I could get mad at him without hurting him. I did not expect the punch but was able to block it just in time. I hold his hand firmly fixing him with a stern glare. He cracks then he screams until I let him go. I hold on firmly for just a while longer then release his fist sure he won't do it again. He breaks down and lifts his hands to his head and says.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I'm sorry, oh gosh! I'm so sorry! Please don't hurt me! I'm sorry" I know this is what my dad said to do but looking at him in this state makes me feel like a complete jerk. I sit down next to him and but keep my hands on my lap to show him that I will not hurt him. "hey kiddo, look I'm not going to hurt you. Look at me, please, darling." When he doesn't respond, but keeps saying sorry. I take a risk. I hook a finger under his chin and force him to look at me. "Sweetheart, listen I'll never hurt you. No matter how angry I get, I'll never hurt you" He looks at me wide eyed "Really?" He sounds like such a little kid it hurts my heart. "Yes, baby. While I'm very disappointed-" I go back to my stern voice but it has less anger now "-in your behavior and there will be punishment. I still love you very much and the punishment will never be physical. Can I hug you?" He thinks about it and shakes his head. "Ok that's ok." I let go of his chin and he drops his gaze to the floor. I rub soothe circles into his back and he leans into my touch. "Are you going to send me back?" He sounds so broken and lost it hurts me. "No, baby. Never, that's not how families work. We don't send someone away when they are having a hard time. Or not behaving very well at the time." I feel him wince slightly at my words but my message went through. I see him nod while holding back tears. "Kiddo, please let me hug you?" He hesitates but then throughs himself towards me. I shift him so that he is sitting on my lap diagonally. He wraps his arms around my neck. Soon he is full on sobbing. I hold him until his light sobs turn to hiccups and place a small kiss to his wet cheek. "I love you so much my precious little boy"

 **Philip POV**

"I love you so much my precious little boy." Did he – he- what? This is something Mami and Papi used to say. He- I'm so confused. I look at him shock obvious on my face. I haven't been talked this way or held this way since the fire. He smiles lovingly at me and says "Yes, I love you very much and yes you are my precious little boy. Got that?" I smile widely for the first time since coming and say "You don't hate me?" He looks mad but not at me "Uh, Alex are you mad at me?" His expression changes immediately "No, no! I wasn't mad at you I'm mad the people who made you believe people can hate you. You are too kind to be hated, baby. No, I don't hate you and I will _never_ hate you." I'm confused I just punched a kid in school and I almost punched him.

"But I almost punched you had you not blocked it? I punched that kid in school for no reason other than he was annoying?"

"That was not you"

"But-"

"Do you want me to hate you?" He asks teasingly and tickles my sides as he says this. I laugh because I'm super ticklish but am able to choke out a "No." He stops and smiles down at me and we stay there hugging in comfortable silence before I let out a very small "I love you too, Alex." I see him and there are tears in his eyes "You do?" He says this like he can barely believe it. I bury my head in his chest and nod. "Uh, Alex? Um… what's my punishment?" We pull away so now I'm sitting in front of him. His expression turns stern "Ok, grounded 1 week. Suspended from school 1 week. You are going to go apologize to the teacher and Eliza for the words you have been saying. Understood?" I'm relived this is normal punishment! He's not going to make me sleep outside or something crazy like that! I nod then decide to give him a verbal response not wanting to upset him "Yes, sir." He smiles content. Then says "Kiddo, please tell me the whole story about you punching that kid? You don't have to tell me why you've been acting this way I'm think I already know." I'm stunned for a moment then say "What?" It came out ruder than intended. "That was rude, sorry. I'll watch my tone, I promise." He smiles then pulls me so we're sitting on the couch again. "Its fine. Now what I think is you wanted to see if I could blow my top with you and still not hit your correct?" How did he know? I nod my cheeks turning red of shame. I tell him the whole story and he nods and says "Ok you don't owe him an apology. Just tell Eliza I said that!" I laugh and settle close to his chest.

"Alex?"

"Hm?"

"Can I take a nap please?"

"You never have to ask. If your tired, then go ahead." I smile and nestle closer to Alex.

"Oh you meant here."

"Uh, yeah is- is that ok?"

"Perfect" I feel him wrap me around a blanket and I fall into a peaceful sleep.

-Later-

I wake up by a soft kiss being placed to my forehead then somebody whispering for me to get up. I slowly do and see it was Alex. I grab a pillow and throw it at him "Go away!" I groan wanting to sleep more. I hear a chuckle then the pillow being thrown back at me lightly. It lands on my head and I flip over and say "Ok, I'm up!" I swing my legs off the bed and look at Alex who immediately laughs. "What?" He walks over and gets a rubber band and hair brush. "Nothing just your hair is a bird's nest." He informs me that dinner is ready and sternly reminds me of the apologies I have to make. I sit down and avoid Eliza's gaze especially since now I know she knows what I said about her. I just decide to blurt it out and get it over with "I'm sorry, Eliza. For everything I said about you I didn't mean it." She smiles and slips her hand into mine giving it a light squeeze. "Thank you, Philip. I forgive you." I smile relived and finish my dinner. Things are looking up. These people might actually keep me.

 **A/N Ok so the next chapter I'm hoping will have fluff before I throw you back into angst. Little Philip's starting to trust them! YAY! Ok so quick translations. First Alex was counting then he said "There you are, (a nickname only in Spanish. Translated directly it would be 'my son'.) Then said Are you ok? Can you tell me what happened? Ok I honestly don't know how I feel about this chapter. I'm ok with it but I had a hard time writing this one but I did!**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N Hey I'm so sorry for not updating in such a long time! Some pretty stressful stuff has been happening in my life and it's made it even worse because I couldn't write. Writing is a way I cope with everything and I really have not had the time but I'm back with fresh new ideas! So, we're going to have a not so angsty chapter today! – I hope…. Eh, probably not but cross your fingers! Thank you for the reviews I saw all of them and all were so nice! I love you guys! I saw your request asking for updates and felt so bad but I'm finally back! I'm going to answer reviews at the end note!**

 **Lastly quick timeline info: This is a week after the last chapter and so he is still not allowed in school.**

 **Alex's POV**

Eliza and I have been taking turns taking care of Philip but I have to go to work today. Usually, tomorrow would be my day to take care of Philip but Jefferson say's there's a "mandatory cabinet meeting". Eliza didn't go to work today and if she misses two days in a row her jerk of a boss will fire her. So, Eliza suggested I take him to work but could he handle that? Eliza breaks my trance "Alex, how about you ask him? We've both gotten closer to him and he might answer truthfully". I consider it before "Ok you're right." Eliza smirks "I'm always right." I plant a kiss to her head before leaving our room and heading over to Philip's room. I knock once, no reply, twice, still no reply, I call out "Philip? Are you okay" No reply. I open the door scared and find he's just drawing, headphones in. I clear my throat loudly and Philip's head snaps up. I can see the panic in his eyes. "Y-yes, sir? Sorry were you calling me? S-sorry! I was drawing and-"

"Philip, it's okay. I get it." I move to sit next to him on the bed and he scoots over. He drops his head and mumbles "Sorry". I look at him confused

"Why sorry?"

"Because I panicked and scared you. It was dumb to panic and I shouldn't have done it"

"Philip, baby look at me. You never need to apologize for panicking, ok? It's completely normal considering what you've been through. Got it?" He nods still looking down. Even though we've made big improvement Philip still has bad days. Bad days are when it's like going back to square one he's jumpy and has nightmares. He usually stays the entire day in his room expect for meals. It's only been a week and bad days are more often than good days. Philip looks at me and asks "It's a bad day, isn't it?" I smile a pained smile and merely nod. It's good though he doesn't always recognize it, this time he does. Philip hesitates before asking.

"Are you mad at me?"

"Why would I be mad at you?"

"One, it's a bad day and I'm probably just getting on your nerves. Two, I didn't hear when you called me and got you scared."

"You're not getting on my nerves, love and you were lost in your drawings and on top of that you were listening to music so no I'm not mad"

"You sure?"

"Positive"

"Ok-um, I don't want to be rude but why are you here" His face turns panicked and rushes to explain himself "I mean- not that you're not allowed here, it's your house just um why? No, I mean-"

"Calm down. I'm not mad and I know what you meant." His head is still down and I tilt his chin up slightly "Sweetheart, I'm not mad. Now listen, and I want you to answer truthfully. Would you be okay going to work with me tomorrow" Since I'm still holding his head up I can see the panic flash through his eyes very briefly before he says "Yeah, I'm fine with that." That's all I need to know, I let go of his chin then sit back on his bed. Philip looks at me confused. "Um-Mr. I mean Alex? Why aren't you leaving. I mean isn't it late" I look at him and say "It's not that late." Philip is still confused "I bet Eliza is waiting for you, isn't she?" I sink more comfortably on his bed "No, she's fine." Philip gets off the bed and looks at me quizzically "What are you doing?" I fain confusion "Nothing. Why would I be doing anything" Philip sighs and sits on the floor where I can't see him. I hear I muffled "You don't believe me, do you?" I move so I can see him,

"Nope"

"I'm not lying"

"I'm sure"

"So, you can leave now, right?"

"Nope"

"Alex!"

"Yes?" He sighs and gets up "I give up, you win, I lied, happy?" He gets up and sits next to me again arms crossed. He says a quiet "I'm sorry I lied." I plant a quick kiss to his curly hair and say "It's alright. But what's wrong?" He hesitates before answering "It's not that I don't want to go more like I'm scared. What will your co-workers think of you, if you bring in your messed up by the system, no good, foster kid. What if they see how messed up, good for nothing I am? What will they think of you" I look at him and firmly say "They won't see that, you know why? Because you aren't a messed up, good for nothing, kid in the system. You are my intelligent, brave, sweet little boy and if they don't see that, that's their problem. If they can't see that you'll blow us all away someday. That's their problem, not mine." When I'm done, Philip is rapidly trying to blink away tears. One escapes and he wraps me in a hug. I hear him whisper "You really believe that?" and I squeeze him tighter as a response. When we pull away, I brush away the last few tears and he says "Thank you." Then smiles and gets a mischievous glint in his eyes "But I'm not a little boy" I smile and pull him so we are sitting on his bed, his head on my should and one of my arms wrapped around him. "You're 13 so shut up. That's little" He huffs and cuddles in closer

"I'm almost in high school!"

"Key word almost"

"Shut up" He grumbles and I take his pillow away from him.

"What was that for!"

"For telling me to shut up"

"Ugh! I'm sorry."

The rest of that night is spent with us talking. At one point, we fell asleep.

-Next day-

Philip's POV  
I wake up to a soft hand nudging me awake. I rub the sleep out of my eyes and see it's Eliza. I say a sleepy good morning and she smiles, kisses my cheek then says "Alright Philip it's time to wake up. Y- Alex is down stairs eating breakfast." I nod and decide to surprise her by kissing her cheek before she leaves the room. She freezes briefly and I get scared before she smiles, a smile that shows she's in pure joy, before walking out of the room. Now why I did that was because I felt kind of bad about something that happened last week. I know earlier she was probably going to say "Your dad/father" whatever but she realized what she was about to say, and panic took over her face briefly before smiling and saying "Alex." Anyway, last week I didn't want to eat and I said she couldn't force me to do anything and she said she could because she was my mother and then I may or may not have blown up. I yelled at her badly and it was a long rant. That earned me a lecture from both of them, granted I deserved it and probably more- no, Philip stop. Don't think about that – but it wasn't fun. Now I felt bad because of how despite Alex and her lecturing me about yelling she felt bad about saying that. She shouldn't though! I messed up badly that day. I don't know why they haven't kicked- Philip stop. If Alex could hear your thoughts he'd be mad at you for thinking that way. Okay, probably not mad he'd probably agree secretly but he wouldn't show it. Before I know it, I've finished getting ready apparently, I'd been doing it during my internal monolog. I walk downstairs and see Alex finishing up breakfast. He looks up and we say "good morning" eat breakfast, normal daily stuff. Expect he says "Alright ready to go?" I swallow the lump in my throat and nod, I see Eliza make a disapproving face. "Not with your hair like that you aren't. Come here?" I groan before she gives me a look and I obediently walk over to her. She starts to untangle my hair. "Ow-Eliza- Ow- that hurts." Once she's done she pulls it into a neat pony tail. She smiles at her work and says "There! You're good to go" I start walking out and say

"Okay!"

"Bye! Love you, be good"

"Bye. L- okay I will!" That was a close one.

-At Alex's office-

I'm sitting in a chair by the window zoned out. I don't realize Alex was talking to me until he says "Got it?" I shake my head and say "Sorry I zoned out…" My face turns red and I look down. "It's alright! I was saying you can just draw, listen to music, whatever while I work if you need to use the bathroom or get water let me know. I do have a meeting with Washington but he won't mind if you're there. Only rules stay quiet during the meeting unless it's an emergency or if you want to leave, and during the rest of the day the building is huge, some of the people here aren't that nice so, stay where I can see you, got it?" I nod before I ask "Are you sure Mr. Washington won't mind me being there?" He laughs and says "He was my foster father now adopted father. Trust me, he won't mind" To say I was surprised was an understatement. I thought he was just lying when he said he was a foster kid once. Or at least if he was he probably didn't have a good relationship with whoever adopted him in the end.

-Walking to the meeting with Washington-

I'm taking deep breaths trying not to have a panic attack. I see Alex catches it and he steps in front of me, stopping me, I look up thinking he's going to look mad but he looks worried. "Alright, enough. What's wrong?" He says sternly. I look down and start playing with my shoes. I don't say a word. "Philip, what's wrong?" His tone is concerned yet stern. Still looking down I decide not to test his patience and say "What if he doesn't like me?" I say it quickly but Alex catches every word. He sighs and speaks again "He will, I can promise you that. If he doesn't then like I said that's his problem. Okay?" I take a deep breath and nod. We continue walking and before I know it we are there. There is a lady at the desk, Alex instructs me to take a seat at the chairs in the back and I obey. I fidget while I wait for him to finish talking. After a few minutes, we are going inside his office. Alex looks at me reassuringly, before we step in. The man I see makes me take a small step back. He is tall, really tall and of broad stature. Any miss step and he could hurt me, a lot. He looks strong and is so much taller than me. Alex's smile never wavers, he enters, says "hi," then sits down. I follow him and take a seat next to him.

"Alexander nice to see you, son"

"Nice to see you too, George. Also, the reason I asked to speak with you was to see what this as Jefferson put it "important cabinet meeting" was about. Personally, I think that the man just wants to see me suffer. I mean why would this surprise cabinet meeting come so out of nowhere! It—ugh! That good for nothing, lying," I'd never thought I'd hear Alex talk that way. The amount of hatred in his voice was shocking. Before he can go on Mr. Washington cuts him off sharply. "Young man, watch your tone, watch your mouth. I was the one who decided to call the cabinet and told him to call you. Granted I did not say it was mandatory but I still said it was very important. Now, your foster son is in the room, and you decide to speak this way? What will you teach him? That talking this way about people is okay? It is not, Alexander." During all this, Mr. Washington never rose his voice and though his tone was reprimanding it was never aggressive. I see Alex look down then up and say "You're right, dad. Ugh, I messed up! I'm sorry. Philip, I'm sorry" I'm taken off guard by the apology and the fact that he called him dad, even though Mr. Washington is mad at him. I'm taken even more off guard when Mr. Washington smiles fondly at his son. "We all make mistakes, Alex. It's fine." He then turns to me and says "Now, your names Philip, right? I've heard so much about you. Alex and Eliza brag about you often" He says the last part chuckling, and I'm surprised at how the mood shifts quickly. Alex never stopped loving Washington and him the same, even when he was mad. Is-is that the same for me? No! Alex is a million times better than me. I quickly smile a polite smile and reply with a polite "Yes, sir. It's nice to meet you, Mr. Washington." I stick my hand out for him to shake it and he does so. "Polite, well behaved, firm grip. I hundred times easier and better than Alex. I guess they were right" At this Alex cuts in "George!" Washington laughs "I'm just teasing, my boy. He's a million times better." At this Alex crosses his arms and grumbles "Shut up." Washington just smiles adoringly and rolls his eyes. During all this, I just sit there, mouth open. When Alex sees my face he full on laughs. Which makes me even more shocked. Washington then stops "Alex don't be mean. Well, we better get going, the meeting is starting soon." His tone is light so Alex just keeps laughing all the way out the door. I follow at a safe distance behind them.

-During the cabinet battle-

Most of the meeting is boring, I just zone out until a guy with an afro, neon purple shiny long coat (it almost reaches the floor) stands up and clears his throat loudly. I hear Alex let out a loud groan, which I quietly laugh at, and earns him a glare from the man. George looks sternly at Alex then decides to speak.

"Jefferson, excuse Hamilton. Is there anything you'd like to add?" Said man puffs his chest out and grins a cocky grin. "Yes, sir there is" He has a southern drawl.

"Alright! So, I'll start with a quote from a very famous, and talented writer "Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness", we fought for these ideals we shouldn't settle for less. These are wise words enterprising men quote em! Don't act surprised you guys cause I wrote em…" And much for stuff like that. Ugh, kill me! I already hate this guy. Then I see Alex stand up. He looks so mad I'm taken by surprise. Then he starts yelling and I try to back up but realize I'm sitting down. I try to disappear, go somewhere else but I'm trapped. After a while, Washington looks at me and sees how much in panic I am. His face turns hard, and I'm scared he's going to get mad at me. Everything becomes blurred. I don't know what's going on. I can't breathe and I'm losing air. I see a lady with tan skin, and red lips come up to me. She is careful not to touch me and gently leads me into this room. She gives me water and I barely remember how to drink it. She lays me down on a couch and she's the last thing I see before falling asleep.

-Alex's POV-

I'm yelling at Jefferson when George stops both of us.

"Excuse me? Hamilton, take a walk. Jefferson, Maddison, take a walk! Hamilton?!"

"Sir?"

"A word" I stand where I am awkwardly not wanting to get yelled at by my dad, in front of everyone. I see everyone leaving, George gives instructions to Maria, a secretary that works here. I see her talk Philip- Philip oh no! Philip looks like he's having a panic attack. Did I? Yes, that's why George stepped in. After everyone leaves, George looks at me impatiently. " _Alexander Washington,_ come here _now."_ I quickly make my way towards him. He then turns around and begins to walk towards his office. I quickly follow him. Once in the office, I sit on the chair on the other side of the desk. George pulls a chair and moves my chair so he is sitting right in front of me. I put my head down and he gently taps my leg. I look up and am met with his stern glare.

"Alexander, do you realize what you did? You yelled at made Philip go into a panic attack! I'm usually not this mad when you lose civility during meeting but this time you hurt your son! You are to apologize to the Jefferson and Madison-"

"I am NOT apologizing to them. I meant what I said, every word of it! They stand only for themselves, it's what they do I can't apologize because it's true"

"Fine, Alexander. You're an adult and you can do what you want. This meeting is over then" George stands up and begins doing his work. I just sit there awkwardly, already regretting what I said. I look over to Washington. He sees me looking, ignores me and continues doing his work. "Sir?" I say hesitantly, George raises an eyebrow at me but doesn't say anything. "I'll apologize to them…?" He looks at me again and begins to speak.

"Are you going to apologize to them?"

"yes, sir"

"One, Alex stop calling me sir. Two, do you understand why?" I squirm under his stern look.

"Um… I, despite not agreeing with their opinions should act more civilly towards them, also I must set an example to Philip."

"Correct." I look at the door not really knowing what to do. "Alex, look at me" I turn towards him. "Yes, I am disappointed in the way you acted today but, I still love you. Got that, son?" I nod and say "I love you too, dad" He smiles and stands up "Well you have some apologies to make and I'm going to check on Philip. When you're ready to talk to him, he's in the break room"

Philip's POV

I wake up on the couch, a lady with brown hair done to the side, tan skin and a red business dress is working on the computer when she sees me awake. "Oh hi, you're awake. You were out for a good half hour. Mr. Washington came to check up on you. Oh and Mr. Hamilton wanted to talk to you but you were still asleep. Would you like me to call him?" I'm not ready to talk to him. What if he's mad at me for having a panic attack at his work and causing a scene. He said he didn't care if they found out I was messed up. Well, he said I wasn't messed up but whatever. He was defiantly lying! He's probably furious. I look at the lady and take a deep breath "Um c-can w-we wait a litt-little before calling him? Please, ma'am?" Of course, you had to stutter! The lady merely nods. She moves her chair so she is beside me. "Well, my name is Maria Rey-, Maria Lewis. I'm one of the secretaries here. What's your name, sweetheart?" I decide to ignore the fact that she was going to say a different last name.

"I'm Philip Ramos. Mr. Hamilton is my foster father"

"Now you don't have to answer this but why are you afraid of talking to him?"

"Wait, I'm not well a little it's just- ugh"

"I know a thing or two about the foster system I work part time as a social worker. I know what happens in most of the homes, and so I know that foster kids get mistreated. Does Mr. Hamilton…beat you?" I'm taken off guard, I mean she knows that's what happens in most homes but I wasn't expecting anyone to ever ask. The one time they ask, the one time they don't…yet.

"No! He doesn't hurt me in any way…yet. I mean after what I did today he might?"

"Has he ever threatened to?"

"No"

"Ever showed any signs of aggressiveness to anyone who isn't Madison and Jefferson?"

"Not that I know of"

"I know Mr. Hamilton. I saw him around in high school, though I never talked to him. I got to know him when we both started working here. If he hasn't hurt, you yet he never will. Yes, I know today was scary seeing him like that. Trust me, I know, but Alex, huh he's not- never mind. He won't hurt you." I feel like she just opened up and told me her past but at the same time, she didn't. One thing I know for sure, I'm ready to talk to Alex. If he hurts me, I can tell her. If he doesn't, then I don't simple as that.

"Ms. Lewis?"

"Call me Maria."

"Maria? Can you call Alex?" I'm ready" She smiles a warm smile and nods.

\- a few minutes later-

I'm talking to Maria when I see Alex come in. I immediately stiffen, Maria leaves and closes the door behind her. Alex takes a seat where she was at. I look at him and he can't seem to meet my gaze. After a few seconds of quiet, tears start to form in Alex's eyes.

"Philip, I'm so sorry. I should have never done that, sweetheart. I love you so much. I promised myself I would protect you. I'm so sorry."

"Um- wait? You aren't mad at me?"

"Of course, not! You did nothing wrong, I was the one you yelled at made you scared. You should never be scared of me."

"Oh." Was all I say. This is the opposite of what the conversation went like in my head. I don't realize I'm crying until I feel Alex's hand gently wipe a tear away. "Come here, kiddo" I don't even hesitate, I wrap him in the tightest hug I can manage. I decide it's time, I say it, the most important words I can ever say, the words I haven't said since I was young. "I love you too. I love you and Eliza so, so much. Thank you for everything, for giving me a home, for loving me, for being my pare- parents. I never thought anyone could ever love me again. Thank you for proving me wrong. You both gave me something I never thought I'd have again, happiness. I'm so glad you both decided to foster me. I'm so glad you haven't given up on me. I love you both so much." Alex is defiantly taken off guard. We gently pull away and he still hasn't said a word. I start to get nervous. What if he doesn't feel the same way? Before I can begin to apologize or cover it up Alex speaks again. "I'd never thought I'd hear those words come out of your mouth. Thank you. Philip, you have been the light of our lives from the moment you walked through the door. Yes, we've had challenges but we never stopped loving you. Everything was worth it. You're an amazing young man that deserves the best. Te adoro, mijo." By the end of that, I smiling widely. As much as I hate to say it I can barely keep my eyes open. I let out a yawn, and Alex's notices how tired I am. "It's been quite a day, kiddo. You're worn out, emotionally. Let's get you home, alright?" I nod. We make our way to the door and then to the front office. Maria is there and she calls Alex. I follow behind.

"Alex, Philip is such a sweet boy! I got to know him and he's amazing!"

"Oh, trust me I know."

"Good. He deserves the best"

"I know, Maria."

"Alright, just making sure. Well, tell Eliza I say hi and good night to both of you!"

"Maria?"

"Mhm?"

"You okay?"

"I'm not in high school anymore, Alex. I'm fine"

"Alright. My offer is still available"

"And it's very kind of you but no." With that very insightful conversation, we leave. I decide not to ask and fall asleep in the car.

 **A/N Well that's it kiddos. I know angst! Whatever. Y'all can pray that one day I write a happy chapter. So let's answer the reviews!**

 **Guest:** _ **"This is so good! Please let there be a chapter soon!"**_ **Well, here ya go! Thank you so much!**

 **Lunalovegood220022: I'm so sorry you asked for an update way back in May. I'm so sorry! Things have been crazy!**

 **Lunalovegood220022** : **Thank you for saying you love it!**

 **Lunalovegood220022: YASS! I LOVE HOO! MY NAME DOES HAVE TO DO LEO! ALL DA LADIES LOVE LEO YOU KNOW!**

 **UNeedNotNoMyName (guest):** _ **Okay but can we all just say how sweet it is that everytime Alex talks to Philip he calls him by a sweet little pet name at least once per conversation…."**_ **I'm glad you like my unintentional use of pet names!**

 **Heather McNamara:** _ **"authors note… fluff, angst. My two favorite things…"**_ **No, you don't sound like a horrible person. At least not to me because same.**

 **Alright, that's it. Some reviews I didn't write the whole thing just the idea cause I lazy! But anyway, hope you guys like this! I'll hopefully start updating more! Also, Maria Lewis, is an important character don't forget her!**


End file.
